Broken
by LaCarlotta
Summary: The story of what happened to James Buchanan Barnes before and after he fell from the train. Witness Bucky's capture and transformation to the legendary and feared "Winter Soldier" by HYDRA's hand. Feel his pain and anguish before he became broken...a tragic heartbreaking tale indeed
1. Prologue

_**Prologue...**_

Although he'd moved out several years previously, James Buchanan Barnes was still a frequent visitor to his childhood home back in Brooklyn. The eldest of Henry and Alice Barnes's three children, James was always a popular child growing up. With his confident attitude and his athletic good looks, he was the one that all the boys wanted to hang out with and all the girls desperately hoped would take them to prom. James's best friend though was Steve Rogers, who lived close by and whose mother was also very good friends with his own. James was a year older than Steve but had known him his whole life, mainly thanks to the friendship between their mothers. Both mothers regularly organised playdates with their children and both had joint birthday parties every year where the whole apartment block would come out to celebrate with a huge party. They just loved hanging out with one another and letting their imaginations run wild just as most kids at their age did. When they were in their teens they used to love playing at the docks together, waving at the tugs going by and riding their bikes through the busy streets of Brooklyn as they avoided the crowds of people on their daily commutes through the city. They were so close that even Steve's mother referred to James as her "other Son".

As the years went by the boys remained close and their bond of friendship was stronger than ever. Even with the imminent threat of war and the tragic death of Steve's mother, James was a rock to his friend and was determined to be there for Steve. While James was athletic, handsome and popular, Steve was pretty much the polar opposite. He was small, shy and quite scrawny indeed.. This made him a easy regular target for bullies around town and left him quite a loner with James only his true friend. Steve didn't care though, he may of had nothing but as long as he still had his friendship with James, nothing else mattered anymore. With James telling him constantly "im with you till the end of the line "

With the war soon fast approaching and after giving it some thought, James immediately signed up to join the army. His younger brother Jack constantly teased him that he only joined up so women would like how he looked in uniform. OK, that might of been slightly true but James had a good heart and just wanted to do his bit for his country, supporting it the best way he knew how. Steve tried also to sign up for the cause but although he had a big heart, his ever-growing list of medical problems failed him on numerous occasions. Steve was gutted at the failure but was happy that James had got his wish. He knew how determined James had been in his quest to join the army and in his heart knew that James Buchanan Barnes would make one hell of an officer. He hoped one day, he would too but right now he couldn't of been more prouder of his best friend.

Before he knew it, James quickly made it to the rank of Sergeant. The Barnes family, along with Steve, looked on with so much pride during the achievement ceremony being held in his honour. Both Henry and Alice, watched on in tears at the amazing achievement of their first born. James was now also an inspiration for his brother in more ways than one. So much so that as soon he was of age Jack Barnes, like his big brother, too signed up to do his bit for his country. Having both their boys in the army now made Henry and Alice even more proud. Sadly, after only several months with his regiment, Private Jack Barnes was tragically killed by a sniper behind enemy lines in Italy. Even now, a year after his brothers death, James could still hear his mothers heart-breaking sobs as she clung onto his father as the news was broke to them...he'd never forget the pain and anguish that overwhelmed her at the prospect of burying her youngest child. No parent should ever go through the mental anguish of losing a child.. Especially to war...

Walking through his old room, a warm smile filled James's face at the so many nostalgic reminders from his childhood in front of him. James's mother had kept the room pretty much as he'd left it when he moved out. The bed still had the tiny bit of folded up paper under one leg that he'd put their to stop it wobbling, the top window was still broken from when he and Jack smashed it while they were playing baseball in the front yard and he could still see the words "Bucky" carved into the dresser that he did when he stole his Dad's knife one time when he was a teenager. It truly was like he'd never left. All that was missing was Jack bursting in and hanging on his every word as James told him all about his life in the army. He missed his brother so much and a day hadn't of gone by when he didn't think about him. Taking off his hat, he reached for a photo of him and his brother both in full military garb that took pride on the dresser. Both men, were saluting at the camera with their proud father by their side. He may have now gone from this world but for James, Jack Thomas Barnes would live on in his big brothers heart and within all those treasured memories they shared together. James had an angel at his side now and with the fact that he'd just got his latest orders through, he needed that guidance more than ever...

"Listen Son, Don't worry about your mother...she's still pretty cut up about Jack that's all" smiled Henry Barnes, tenderly placing a hand in his eldest sons knee "just know that she's so proud of you...just like I am"

Indeed the reason for James's visit today was that he had received his orders and was joining the 107th regiment back in England. He had no idea how long he'd be based there for or where he'd end up stationed next. But he as much as he tried putting it off, he had to tell his parents that he was leaving in the morning. His dad took it better than he expected but his mother was devastated beyond words. Ever since Jack's death she had been plagued by nightmares of losing her eldest son in the war now. As James broke the news she immediately burst into tears and begged him not to go. She clung onto his collar pleading with him not to leave her like Jack had. James held her close and tried to reassure her as best he could but Alice just couldn't face the prospect of losing another son to the devastating consequences of war and fled to the garden

"Thanks Dad," smiled James, hugging his father close "I miss the little punk too. No matter where my journey takes me, Jack will be with me always...with us all...forever...will Mom be ok?"

"she'll be fine but go see her before you leave.. " the old man smiled, reaching for his shoulder "have you told Steve yet?"

Getting to their feet, both men exited the room and gazed out the huge window overlooking the garden. In the distance, James could see his mother kneeling at a small tree that they had planted in honour of Jack when he died.

"not yet, think he said he was going to the picture house," he further looked out at the distraught woman in the garden "am I doing the right thing dad? I mean maybe I should just stay here with you and Mom. I could settle down with Dot, start a family and work down with you at the factory...oh I don't know what to do anymore"

"Bucky listen to me.." James smiled at the nickname that his father had given him since childhood. Henry clutched his head in his hands forcing his son to look up at him "I have been nothing but proud of you James Buchanan Barnes ever since they day you was born. We both have. Regardless of where your journey takes you...know that me, your mother and even Jack god bless him will be with you always..."

"Thanks Dad...I love you" smiled James pulling the old man close in a crushing hug "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you guys"

"oh I know trust me.. You and Steve drinking yourselves silly as you try and impress the women that's where...I was the same at your age Bucky Barnes" he'd laughed, as they headed down stairs "listen to me James...your Grandfather was a wise man son. He told me that life is just a highway and the soul is just a car. Your soul was meant for great things Bucky and as you go on that great highway of life...know one thing...I'll be with you till the end of the line...I love you Bucky and am so proud of you son...now go talk to your mother...you'll only regret it"

"Thanks Dad..."

James Buchanan Barnes may of dated many women over the years but in reality there was only ever one that he loved more than life itself and one that had been by his side from day one. That woman being his beloved mother, Alice. It truly broke his heart seeing her in so much pain like this right now. He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her close telling her that everything would be OK but in reality he didn't know what was next for him now his orders had come through. Part of him wanted to just leave without saying goodbye but as he looked over at the distraught woman he knew he couldn't do that to her. Slowly, he sat next to her by the tree and reached for hand. She trembled slightly but felt reassured at being this close to her son. For a brief few seconds there was an awkward silence between them until James turned to look at the tree, his gaze dropping to the tiny plaque with his brothers name inscribed in silver italics on it...

"Im sorry James...I shouldn't have fled like that...I am so proud of all that you have achieved in the army now..." The old woman whispered softly turning to her boy "it doesn't matter what age you are. You'll always be my baby boy" a sole glistening tear slowly fell down her cheek "with your sister all married and jack well..." there was a lump in her throat as she remembered her youngest boy and his tragic death "I guess you don't need me anymore now"

"mom just stop there right now..." cried James, slightly stunned at her words 'I Need you now more than ever. I'm going to need some of your strength and courage to get me through those dark times once I ship out tomorrow... I need to know that regardless of what happens to me, I can look to my heart and you'll be there...will you be there mom?"

"oh James my precious boy..." sobbed Alice, throwing her arms round his neck "you know I will be...but it's just when I think about Jack...I..."

"Mom, Jack will be with us always " he smiled, linking onto her hand reassuringly "with him as an Angel on my shoulder and you and Dad in my heart... Those Germans will know not to mess with a Barnes..."

"promise me you'll be safe..." the old woman tenderly cupped his cheek "be careful Son..."

"of course... I love you Mom..."

"I love you too my darling boy " she pulled him close in a deep crushing hug and stroked his hair "whatever happens next...I know you'll do me proud"

"Alice, are you going to let the boy go enjoy his last night of freedom for goodness sake?" came a voice from behind them both "let him go enjoy himself..."

"your fathers right..." laughed Alice getting to her feet. She linked onto James's arm and together they headed through the white picket fence that led to the main road "as always...go have fun James...you'll write won't you?"

"all the time...you know that" cried James giving her one last hug "I promise..."

"Alice, let the boy go.."continued Henry " be safe and look after yourself son..."

Standing on the sidewalk he looked over at his parents gazing back at him. Alice was crying again but was wrapped up tight in her husband's arms. Giving them one last look, he blew his mother a kiss and saluted up to his father. It broke his heart whenever he did have to say goodbye to them like this. It was difficult at the best of times but little did James know that this time would be the last time he'd ever see his parents or his childhood home ever again..


	2. Part 1

_**The fall...**_

 _ **"Bucky hold on..." cried Steve, desperately reaching out to his terrified friend "Grab my hand..."**_

Still falling, Bucky Barnes managed to open his eyes in deep panic as that last image of Steve desperately reaching out for him was still etched in his mind. The perception of time distorted for Bucky, everything around him slowed down until there was nothing. Only him and the clear blue sky above his head, sky that seemed to have swallowed him whole now. His hand reached out to grasp the endless crevasse of blue. The mountains and speeding train, soon vanishing from his gaze as he continued to plummet through the air. Bucky closed his eyes briefly, surrendering himself to his fate and the impending realisation that he would be soon reunited with his dead brother. The air pushed against his face, he opened his eyes once more waiting for that blackness of death to greet him. His last thought quickly turning to that of his parents and the moment they would be told of his death. The reality quickly hitting them of losing yet another child to the tragedy of war...

"Mom...Jack...Dad..." he whispered through tears "im sorry...Im sorry.."

His body twirled and jerked now in every direction possible. With the speed of the fall increasing, he knew it wouldn't be long before he hit the ground and death would have him. The wind in his face made it even more impossible to breathe now at this sudden acceleration. Air constricted in his throat and he could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness.

Right on cue, came the first impact from the fall. His limp body coming into direct contact with some jagged rocks of a small ledge at the bottom of the mountain top. Screaming out in agony as excruciating pain hit him hard as the rocks cut through the flesh and bone of his arm. Tearing all remnants of his limb to shreds in the process. Almost passing out now, he could feel the bones in the lower half of his body twist and contort in every inhumanly way possible. Pain so unbearable...

Tumbling further, his head soon collided with even more rocks and one caught him straight in the face. His mouth quickly filled with his own blood and he spat out a broken tooth on the hard impact. In his heart he kept repeatedly telling himself that it would over soon and that at least Jack would be there to greet him when he crossed the bridge into the afterlife. At least he had that to comfort him as waited for death to take him now.

Seconds later, Bucky finally hit the ground. Hitting a large tree close by in the process. Thankful that he'd stopped falling at last but was confused more than ever that he actually was still alive. Barely but still alive. Unable to move, all Bucky could feel now was a combination of overwhelming pain from his arm and the cold dampness below of the snow beneath his broken body. Yes, the fall indeed hadn't of killed but give it a few days and maybe the hypothermia just might instead. Nobody would come looking for him here...

Without looking, he knew instantly that the devastating fall had damaged his arm. He felt blood seeping from the skin and at the mangled torn flesh at where his arm once was. Looking down his broken body, he could see a trail of blood leading up his side. Taking several deep breaths his eyes followed the trail up and quickly gasped in horror. His arm had indeed gone. There instead was a mangled mess of blood, bone and material from his jacket. With a heartfelt sob, he spotted a small black and white photo of his parents that had obviously fallen out of his jacket. It was a photo he took with him on every mission and never left his side. He drew his strength from that photo and it always gave him comfort in those dark moments of war. The image was now covered in his own blood, discolouring the beaming images of parents proud faces. He tried to reach for it but still couldn't move due to the impact from the fall...

"Mom...mom...please..."

His head fell back slowly and eyes soon closed firmly shut. Giving up all together, James Buchanan Barnes waited. Waited for death to claim him once and for all...


	3. Part 2

_**Zola...**_

Doctor Arnim Zola was a Swiss scientist who currently was head of the science division at HYDRA. Recruited in 1934 by Johan Schmidt, he was responsible for the design and creation of many of the advanced weaponry currently in HYDRA'S growing arsenal in their quest for global world domination during the war. A brutal man, he was able to create so many devastating weapons mainly because Schmidt had captured "Abraham Erskine", the German scientist who would later go on to work on the advanced super soldier serum that would eventually turn Steve Rogers into the world renowned Captain America. Zola soon became obsessed with recreating Erskine's work and began testing various strengths of the super serum on the many prisoners of war captured by HYDRA that were bought back to the compound on a daily basis.

Some of the prisoners bought to the compound, were forced into backbreaking labour. Forced to create even more dangerous weaponry for the people many of them had signed up to fight against. These soldiers were beaten by the guards on a daily basis, breaking their spirits mentally and physically. So often leaving them broken with former aspects of their former personalities and life wiped out by the daily torture inflicted on them. Those not chosen for work, were taken to the hospital wing of the compound and prepared for Dr Zola's experiments. These men were normally kept in separate isolation wards and seen as nothing more than Guinea pigs in his desperate quest to enhance the super serum and create the ultimate killing machine for HYDRA. This super soldier would be stronger and even more faster than Captain America. This would make them even more deadly and would bring about the dangerous new dawn within the organization.

Those chosen for experimentation were inflicted with painful rigorous testing on a daily basis by Zola and his team. Each prisoner was injected with various kinds of chemicals and serums that his team had mixed together down in his lab. Hoping that one of the men would react positively to the chemicals and leaving his work complete. Zola was determined that he would soon find that perfect combination he needed and with that his work could continue. Thus creating what he called "The winter Soldier program"

Everyday new prisoners were bought to the base and this gave even more "Lab rats" for him to perform his experiments on. For him, as soon as these men were bought in they were property of HYDRA. These men had no identity now. They were nothing to him, just mere pawns and tools he needed to bring about the new dawn to HYDRA and complete the plan for world domination.

Zola's experiments on the various prisoners went on for several years and at present, he had experimented on nearly 100 men in his quest to find his super soldier. These men subjected to immense torture, pain and experiments on daily basis . Experiments that regularly failed but left the doctor more determined than ever to continue with his winter soldier program. Many of his subjects normally ended up dying within hours of first being injected with the serums. Some survived the first bout of testing but were left with devastating brain damage, this rendering them useless for further research within his program. These poor empty souls were normally shot at Zola's request and hurled into the incinerator like a bag of rubbish. These soldiers didn't deserve an end like this. But to Zola and his team they were mere bumps in his path to the winter soldier program becoming a reality. Other test subjects managed to commit suicide before even a single needle was injected into them. Choosing instant death over a long agonising suffering at the hands of HYDRA. This left Zola frequently empty handed and equally frustrated at further delays to his plans. At one point he even began to wonder if the winter soldier program would indeed materialise due to the regular bouts of failures he'd been having with his batch of test subjects

Out of all the prisoners tested on, only one survived that initial first round of serum injections. Quickly the man was bought to a separate isolation room where tests indeed showed that the serum was already attaching itself to his blood cells. Tests also showed that the serum was also merging deep within his DNA. Zola was overjoyed at these results and ordered further injections on the man. The man cried out in excruciating agony as the dangerous mix of toxic chemicals flew through his veins. This dosage was stronger than what the other subjects had received. If the man survived this then Zola knew he had the perfect participant for the up coming program. The man was amongst the first batch experimented on and he'd already outlived the rest of those infected. At last Zola had found the perfect subject for the program. At last he had found the one who was destined to be the new fist of HYDRA. At last he could unleash his new weapon on the world...

Delighted with the success, there was only one small problem. The man that had survived the intense pain of the experiments and whose body had merged with the super soldier serum, was none other than Sgt James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th regiment. The same Sgt Barnes who was best friends with Captain America and the very same Sgt Barnes who had fallen to his apparent death from a speeding train, several days previously. This created a problem for Zola but as he looked through his notes from Bucky's previous experiments and noted how quickly the serum had healed the soldiers injuries during his capture, he knew that there was a chance he'd survived the fall. Even with the incident on the train still etched in his mind, Zola knew in his heart that thanks to how Bucky's body had reacted to testing that he probably was indeed alive. Calling an emergency meeting with his team, he wished to discuss sending a search team for Bucky and bring him back to the compound so the winter soldier program could be a reality at long last. Taking off his glasses, he reached into his briefcase and handed out his file on James Barnes. Notes he'd created showing Bucky's many different reactions and dosages to the serum he'd received. Despite his belief that Bucky was the one they needed for the project, several members of his team believed otherwise and questioned his judgment in sending a search party for a presumed dead man

"Sir, do you in all honesty believe that Barnes is still alive?" questioned one of the scientists, looking at a photo of Bucky strapped to the hospital bed from the file "how do you know for sure that he is alive?... Are you truly willing to jeopardise all the hard work we have put in by going to search for a dead man?...I for one have worked too hard for this project to fail"

"do you dare question my choices here Doctor? " Zola reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny handgun. Slowly he pulled back the trigger and aimed it at the head of the panicking doctor "maybe I should be questioning your loyalty to HYDRA and the cause"

"Dr Zola...its just that..." wide eyed and gripped by fear the Doctor raised his arms "I just wanted to know that Sgt Barnes is indeed the one we need and that he's worth going."

Hearing enough, Zola pulled the trigger and shot the Doctor once in the chest. The huge bang from his blow caused the remainder of the team to dive under the table for safety. Slowly emerging to see their fallen comrade clutch his chest and fall over the table dead. Showing no remorse at what he'd done, Zola sat back at his chair and placed the gun back in his pocket. He reached once again for Bucky's file and glared at the remaining members of his team. Seemingly still not concerned about the crumpled body of the doctor slumped dead opposite him

"so does anyone else doubt my ability to continue with the program?" his eyes fell to the photo of Bucky from the file. The poor tortured exhausted man was strapped to a bed with wires to his arms leading to several IV bags next to him. Attached to his wrist were cords linking him to a computer close by "well?" The team all shook their heads furiously and continued to stare at the fallen comrade. Still stunned that Zola had killed him in cold blood like he had "good, the decision has been made...we will send a search party to find sergeant Barnes immediately and bring him to me" he turned to his nervous assistant who'd been scribbling furiously throughout the scene as it unfolded "send word to the Russians. They are good with tracking people...tell them we will create a vast reward on the safe return of our new asset...those Russians will do anything for money..."

"Sir, how much shall I set the reward at?" the assistant asked before heading to the radio room "100,000?"

"no...is it essential that Sgt Barnes is found at all costs...I firmly believe he survived the fall from the train and we need him alive at all costs" again his gaze dropped down to his notes and he began to smile "make it one million...that way I know he will be ours in one piece and my program can at last begin...the new era of hydra has begun...now go..."

Watching the assistant run, Zola rubbed his hands in glee. Finally with confident that with Sergeant Barnes in his possession, the winter soldier program could finally Begin...


	4. Part 3

_**Jack Barnes**_

 _ **"Seriously Bucky, you told me the uniform alone would make me more attractive to women" cried a frustrated Jack Barnes, shaking his head in disarray "Last week, I asked Mary to the dance while I was wearing it and she flat out told me no..seriously this is the last time I listen to your advice big brother" he laughed,playfully pushing him to the wall "she told me she didn't want to commit to a long term relationship.. Jesus Bucky, I only asked her to the dance I didn't ask to marry her for gods sake.."**_

 _ **"ah little brother you indeed have a lot to learn...observe...ladies?"**_

 _ **As the men continued walking, 2 young women brushed past with the blonde immediately catching Bucky's eye. The woman blushed furiously as he winked at her and her eyes widened as he cheekily licked his lips. Tipping his hat, he greeted them both with a warm seductive smile. The women giggled furiously and continued to swoon over him as they walked past the men. Pausing briefly to check Bucky out in the process. Jack watched in awe at his brothers ability to flirt and still remain equally charming with those of the opposite sex. This was why he looked up to Bucky in more ways than one**_

 _ **"that's how we Barnes men role my young protégé " laughed Bucky, as the two women soon tapped him on the shoulder and handed him their phone numbers that they both had hastily scrawled on a newspaper. Saying nothing, he slipped it in his pocket and kissed each one of them on the cheek. Both women still blushing and swooning at the encounter with the handsome soldier "We Barnes men know what we want and go for it"**_

 _ **"seriously Buck, how do you do it? I so want to be like you?"**_

 _ **"hey, you're a Barnes... You're already like me idiot" he playfully locked his little brother in a headlock and kissed the top of his head "look. Me and Steve are going to Kingsley's tonight... That new club in town...you want in?. I promise I'll share my wealth and understanding of the opposite sex with you both...teach you both the correct path...lets be honest you both need it"**_

 _ **"like you need to ask..." laughed Jack "oh Bucky..."**_

" _Bucky?...Bucky!?"_

Time had somewhat stopped now for Bucky Barnes since his fall from the train. After passing out after that initial impact, his eyes slowly began to open now as he hoped to get that first glimpse of what heaven looked like. He shivered slightly as it quickly dawned on him that he was still lying in the cold wetness of the snow as the overwhelming chill took hold of his body. The pain in his arm had oddly started to reside but he Still couldn't bring himself to look down at the long gone broken limb next beside him. Looking up, he could see a blackness of the nights sky above. The eerie darkness of that pitch black curtain draped over the sky. That never ending blackness consuming everything in its grasp. Everything, except the stars that stood out instantly and caught his eye. The moonlight was a diffuse ocean above him, lessening the inky blackness of the night but not so bright as to dull the stars that speckled and glittered in the heavens above. The moonlight splashed its watery white silver glow over his broken body now, continuing to bathe him. In the distance he could hear a wolf and the hoots of an owl from the tree high above his head

" _James Buchanan Barnes...still as lazy as ever I see!"_

Confused at the words from this mysterious voice, he still found himself unable to move and see where the voice was coming from. As it called him again, he recognized it instantly and began to weep. Sobbing heavily, it wasnt just his body that was broken it was now also his heart. Shattering into a million pieces at the realisation at who it truly belonged to. A voice he hadn't heard in a year but still had been in thoughts every day since it had taken its angel wings and started its journey to heaven... _ **Jack**_. Still struggling to take it all in, Bucky soon felt two hands on his shoulders and drag him to a nearby tree

" _Makes a change...me having to carry your sorry ass for once" the voice laughed "Jesus Bucky...I know its been only a year but you're a lot heavier than I remember...wake up soldier"_

Not knowing if he was dreaming or was in fact indeed dead, Bucky's eyes rolled backwards as the back of his head hit the tree. Within seconds his head slumped forward with the only sounds he could hear was of footsteps crunching in the snow echoing around him. Struggling to breathe, he opened his eyes and gasped as there standing in person and in full military attire was Jack Barnes...his baby brother

Similar in looks to Bucky, Jack was the baby of the Barnes children. He was slightly smaller than Bucky in height and while Bucky's hair was dark brown, his had a slightly more blonde tint to it. It was the eyes that gave you the greatest indication they were siblings. Both sharing the same blue sparkling eyes that glistened in the light above

"Jack? You're here?...is it really you?" cried Bucky, overwhelmed at seeing his beloved brother again "how? Am I dreaming? How is this even possible? "

Crouching down in the snow beside him , Jack smiled warmly at his big brother and reached for his face. Bucky began to sob even more at being this close to his brother again. He truly had missed him so much and a day hadn't gone by when he didn't think of him. Reassuringly and tenderly, Jack reached for his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze

"I never left you Bucky...I've always been here" his hand dropped to the centre of Bucky's chest and he gently placed his flat palm over his heart "You just needed to look here the whole time big brother. "

"oh Jack, I'm sorry I made you sign up. I should have talked you out of it...maybe you'd still be here with mom and dad if had. Least they would have only lost one child to war and not two ..Im sorry Jack " His sobs, grew more heartbreakingly now as his heart shattered at the overwhelming guilt he'd suffered from since his brothers death. Even after Jack's death, Bucky still wrote him letters about his life in the army. Of course Bucky never sent the letters and Jack never received them but this was his way of coping with the intense grief at the loss of his beloved brother "its all because of me that your gone Jack..."

"now just stop" cried Jack, reaching for Bucky's devastated face and forcing him to look him in his eyes "Believe it or not Bucky Barnes I was a grown man and more than capable of making my own choices with my life" he reached into the snow and picked up the photo of their parents that had fallen from Bucky's coat. Jack smiled at the image of his beaming parents looking up at him "it was my choice and mine alone big brother. Mom and dad knew that too. I'll never leave you Bucky trust me. I'll be watching you from above always I promise..."

"how are they gonna cope now that we've both gone now Jack?...its going to kill them.. Especially Mom" he slowly took the blood-soaked image as his tears dropped down below "I hope they will be OK.."

"Bucky, it will be hard for them. The thing is though is that you and I are on very different paths now big brother " sighed Jack, reaching for his hat and getting to his feet "just know that if you look to your heart, that's where me, mom and Dad will always be"

"But Jack. Don't leave me...please take me with you " pleaded Bucky, reaching out for him desperately "JACK..."

"Im sorry big brother but its not time for you join me yet...your soul is on a different path to mine" he forced out a smile to his still devastated sibling "treasure the memories big brother and know that its only a breath away to where I am..."

"But Jack...I'm ready to die" he sobbed "please take me with you...JACK... JACK?"

"Goodbye Bucky, whatever happens on your journey never forget that you are and always will be a good man" slowly Jack edged backwards as a huge mass of white light engulfed him "we'll all be reunited one day Bucky I promise. Till then I'll be waiting for you...so will Mom and Dad. So long big brother" Giving his brother one last salute, Jack smiled "till then Bucky Barnes..."

"JACK...DON'T LEAVE ME..JACK...DONT GO...PLEASE...I NEED YOU... JACK? JACK? JACK..."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Bucky was startled to see that he was now alone and still lying on his back in the snow. He looked up at the full moon that still bathed his broken body. His sobs echoing in the deathly silence of the mountain top. Intense sobs at the realisation that his visions of Jack were most probably hallucinations bought on by his injuries and probably the early effects of hypothermia from his time in the snow. Looking down his chest he could see in his top pocket was the photo of his parents that the Jack in his vision had handed him. He tried to smile again but he was still in so much pain that every muscle in his body was in agony. At least now even when death finally would take him at some point, he wasn't alone now. Looking up at the heavens, Bucky could now feel his eyes grow heavier now as sleep took over...

"Thank you Jack...goodbye little brother"


	5. Part 4

_**Rescue?**_

Luckily for Zola, the Russians were more than willing to assist him in his search for Sgt Barnes and aid in the progression of the winter soldier project. They agreed to send their greatest trackers in the unit to intensely search the Forrest area near where Bucky had fallen from the train. These trackers were unlike no other. They were highly skilled in what they could do and had been trained to perfection in their ability of survival in the field. If anyone could find his potential new asset, it would be them. They agreed to help instantly but when it got back to them about them the true value of his search for the broken American, they increased their asking price. At first Zola was furious but he needed Bucky desperately and without him the winter soldier program wouldn't happen. Reluctantly, he agreed to pay the extra but only on the condition they wouldn't receive anything until Sgt Barnes was bought back to the compound ALIVE..

"anything?" cried the lead Tracker, rubbing his hands together as the temperature began to drop in their search. He called over to a small group of fellow trackers in the distance "Any luck?"

"Yes we found this..." The man reached into his bag and pulled out a large semi automatic riffle. On the handle it was inscribed with the words _ **-BARNES**_ "we also found remnants of human tissue and blood on some rocks at the foot of the mountain.. He's gotta be close by Sir.. "

"Then we must search even more in depth. Zola is refusing to pay us a thing until we find him and bring him in..." the leader cried defiantly raising his hand "go back to where we found those other blood samples. We may get lucky. Continue the search and keep me informed"

After several more hours of searching and finding nothing, the three trackers were starting to lose patience. It had repeatedly drummed into them by the boss the importance of finding the broken body of the American but they knew even if they did, they wouldn't receive a penny of the two million promised by Zola. Following orders they soon headed over to the area where they had found the blood samples and the various remnants of flesh and bone from the first round of searching. Scanning the area with a torch, one of the trackers stopped when a black leather boot suddenly appeared in the glow of the light. The man nudged to his companion and together they edged closer, following a trail of deep crimson blood that soon led them to a body. The body was that of a man but he was unconscious and not moving. Quickly the other tracker reached into his coat and pulled out a photo that the team leader had given him. He scanned the torch over the face of the fallen man and then down at the photograph, confirming once and for all they had at long last found Sgt James Buchanan Barnes...

"ITS HIM...WE FOUND HIM.."

"Is he?..is he dead?" asked the younger Tracker staring intently at the fallen man "we won't get paid if he is...check him!"

Handing the torch to the younger man, he crouched down beside Bucky and gasped when he caught sight of his arm. Well, what little was left of it anyhow. It had literally been torn off just below his shoulder. Leaving only remnants of flesh, blood and the mangled blue clothing of his uniform. In any other circumstances this man should be dead but as the tracker dropped to his knees, he could hear a faint breath from his lips as the cold clouds of air left his mouth. Whatever Zola had done to this man back in his lab, it had kept him alive and aided his survival in the freezing temperatures that had hit the area over the last several days. Getting to his feet, the tracker quickly aimed several hard painful kicks deep into Bucky's ribs cage. On impact Bucky groaned instantly as the two trackers turned to each other and smiled

"He's alive... He might not be in one piece but he's alive" The older man cried , grabbing the younger companion by the shoulder delighted they had finally found him "hopefully that will be enough for Zola's work...get the rope..."

The men, quickly tied the rope tight around Bucky's waist then in an even tighter double knot around their wrists. Two men pulled him forward while the other followed them at Bucky's feet. The 3rd man was armed with a huge riffle ready on hand to quickly subdue Bucky if by some miraculous chance he awoke. For the majority of the journey to the truck, Bucky remained unconscious and didn't respond to his surroundings. Yet as the journey progressed and the roads became more bumpy the sudden and frequent jolts eventully woke him up. Opening his eyes with a start, he could feel indeed that he was being moved somehow. Looking down he saw a long trail of crimson blood flowing from his arm and down into the snow as he was moved.

Finally, Bucky caught sight of his injured arm. His eyes widening in horror at the fact there was infact no arm. Nothing but empty space and a deep mangled mess of flesh and bone. Relieved at last being rescued, his eyes followed to the older man at his feet. As he studied the figure it slowly began to dawn on him that this wasnt a rescue...this was a capture...Bucky instantly recognised the uniform of the tracker as soviet. His eyes widened in deep fear as seconds later he caught the gaze of the old man at his feet. The tracker did not speak but ushered the two in front to stop and continued to glare down at Bucky somewhat mockingly at the devastating situation the young soldier had now found himself in

"Please...please..." cried Bucky in a voice nothing more then a whisper "help...me...please..."

Saying nothing but smirking hard, the tracker raised his gun and hit Bucky square in the head with the barrel end. The impact jolted Bucky's hear back hard and knocked him out cold. Laughing at his damage, the tracker ushered the other two to get moving once more. They took the slack from the rope once more and the journey to the truck continued...

10 minutes later they finally reached the truck parked at the base camp at the foot of the mountain. It took all three of them but the managed to each grab one of Bucky's limbs and hurled him into the back, tossing him in like he was some kind of rubbish. His broken body hit the hard metal of the truck hard and rolled over several times before coming to a stop. His body broken, still and bruised...

"At least we'll get paid... He's HYDRA'S property now..."


	6. Part 5

_**The Winter Soldier program**_

With the truck continuing its journey along the long dirt track of the road, Bucky's broken body continued to roll back and forth at the rear of the truck. Every time he landed on his injured arm, he screamed out in agonising pain that barely even registered with the three trackers sitting in the cab in front of him . Each time Bucky pleaded for help, they just shut the window of the cab and went back to talking about the two million promised to them by Zola. Before long, the injured soldier now found himself lying on his front and peering through a tiny gap in the fencing at the very back of the truck. The road in front of him was lit with many torches in the trees and snow completely covered the paths close by. There was a real sense of eeriness in the air as the truck suddenly came to a stop. Eyes widening, Bucky could hear a conversation between the trackers and guards that seemed to signal they had reached some kind of checkpoint. He wasn't familiar was Russian but judging by the way the guard hit the side of the truck moving them forward, it dawned on him they must of reached the final destination...The truck was quickly parked and as it reversed, Bucky caught sight of more torches leading the way up to a huge military compound. The compound was practically identical to one that he'd been held at back in Italy. Where he had his first encounter with Zola and the various experiments with the different serums nightmares began

" _...God...not here...it can't be."_

The hustle of the busy compound, the shots of gunfire and the screams of agony of his fellow prisoners soon met Bucky's horrified gaze. His heart beating furiously inside his chest now as deep fear took hold as the memories of the excruciating torture inflicted on him flooded back. His mind remembering the pain overwhelming his body as the doctor injected various mixes of chemicals into his bloodstream on a daily basis. Memories of at how he cried out begging him to stop, while the ruthless doctor ignored his pleas and continued drawing blood from him for even more tests even more rigorous than the last.

Before he could think of any more of the haunting images, the back of the truck was quickly opened by one of the trackers. The other 2 reached for his legs, dragging him out in the process. Bucky winced, gritting his teeth through the agony as they grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him along the path up to the main entrance to the compound. Both of Bucky's legs were broken from the fall but the trackers wouldn't let a little thing like that bother them. More overwhelming pain flew his body now. Bucky knew it would be a matter of minutes before he passed out once again. Bucky's eyes soon rolled backwards in his head but he quickly gasped in horror at that all too familiar flag greeting him at the entrance to the compound. That skull and snake motif that struck him deep to the very core of his soul...HYDRA

Currently inside the compound, Zola was leading another meeting with his team and share further details with them on his winter soldier program. Unbeknownst to him that Bucky had been found, he stood at the front of the table. Ready to share the carefully thought plan of action of his work. The team listened intently as Zola had now stopped referring to Bucky as Sgt Barnes but now choosing to call him "The Asset" . Giving an even clear indication at their long term plans for him. Giving his assistant a nod, a film was shown of Bucky being injected with the first batch of serum back when he was first a prisoner of war...

 _ **"what are you doing? Please don't do this?...im begging you" The Bucky on the film pleaded grabbing at Zola's shoulder. He could do nothing as several vials were quickly injected into his veins. Within seconds Bucky cried out in agony as the deadly mixture flew through every core of his body. It was like no pain he'd ever experienced "no...Noooooooo...AGHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO" his body shook rigidly as he desperately tried to free himself from the chair. After several minutes, the room became a deathly silent as Bucky's screams eventually died down. His body relaxed and eyes began to flicker before closing shut. Slowly his mouth opened to speak out one final word that was**_ _ **nothing more than a whisper... "mom..."**_

"as you can see from this that the serum attached itself to the asset almost instantly. You indeed have to admire his strength and courage but deep down he knew that it was impossible to fight its effects" laughed Zola, freezing the image of the unconscious Bucky on the large screen behind him "its my firm belief that the asset is ready to progress to phase1 of the programming " pausing briefly he reached into his bag and handed out more papers to the awaiting team "phase1 will begin with intense electrical therapy that will fully wipe the assets mind. It will erase all remnants of his previous life and give us full control over him...A machine designed by myself has been constructed solely for this purpose"

"will his mind be wiped all in one go?" asked a doctor "everything?"

"That will solely depend on the asset. It may take one session, it may take many more. As you can see from the film the asset already is showing high levels of resilience so it could indeed take more sessions with the electricity therapy. It may still take time but in earnest we will get the result we need regardless"

"do you believe that all the assets memories will remain erased permanently? " another doctor cried slowly raising his hand "100 percent confident?"

"Yes but of course but it will still bring about risks. My plan is that if the asset ever does show signs of aspects of his former personality emerging, then there will be even more Electronic therapy to his brain. This will not only be of a more frequent consistency but also set at a higher dosage. It will bring intense pain to the asset but I think the only then can we can reach the heights of phase 2 of the program. Starting with the assets memory being wiped on a regular basis will quickly give us full control"

"phase 2?"

"Phase 2 will begin with his training. He will learn how to master every fighting skill known to man" cried Zola proudly "we will train him to master martial arts, knife mastery, become a highly skilled marksman, a true deadly assassin in every sense" he pointed up at the picture of Bucky still on the screen "we will make him multilingual with this also. This aiding him on every mission and assassination we send him on. This will all soon give us the ultimate kill machine gentlemen... And give HYDRA full complete domination"

"I have a question sir.." a younger scientist raised his hand and gazed up at Zola "this all indeed sounds amazing but what about aging? The asset can't be more in his late 20's so what about the winter soldier program in the long run?"

"we have indeed thought about this and the plan would be to freeze him in a specially created cryogenic stasis chamber between missions. Then to thaw him out when needed. The regular bouts of cryo freeze will slow down his aging process and give us full use of him and his skills for many...many more years "

"With the process fully complete what will be his powers?"

"He will have enhanced physical abilities that will rival that of captain America. His strength and speed will be super enhanced by further tests by myself and the team as the program continues... Any more question's?"

"I have to know what is the plan with regard to the assets stamina, reflexes and healing ability?..what will happen if he gets injured on mission"

"The serum will provide the asset with less fatigue during physical activity. This means that he will able to exert himself to the very peak for hours before tiring and needing rest " he flicked a switch and a new image of Bucky appears on the screen. This was him smiling and was obviously taken from his pre war days "as for healing, yes he can become injured but his body will soon be able to heal at an extraordinary speed with great efficiency. It is early still but this is why I firmly believe that he survived the fall from the train...even at these early stages my serums have been connecting to his blood cells and I know that on the completion of the winter soldier, we would have created the greatest super soldier known to man" cried Zola proudly, raising his fist in defiance "he will leave an everlasting legacy and one that will bring about the new dawn for HYDRA. With the project complete we will on our way to cresting even more warriors and setting us up for global domination and..."

Pausing momentarily, Zola was quickly joined by his assistant who hurriedly whispered into his ear. This left the remaining doctors still confused at the scene. Zola's eye widened in excitement and a huge grin soon spread across his face

"excuse me gentleman...this maybe the news I have been waiting for"

Zola immediately raced from the out of the lab and sped along the hall. Straight away he caught sight of the two Russian trackers he'd sent out several days previously in the search for Bucky. Edging closer, he beamed at the sudden realisation of the fact they were holding the broken fallen body of Sgt James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky was still drifting in and out of consciousness but managed to stay awake long enough to meet the gaze of the evil Doctor. Using every last ounce of energy he had, he raised his head slowly and spat directly in Zola's face. It caught him on the nose and trickled slowly over his glasses. Even if they killed him now, at least Bucky could have that one last satisfaction to take to his grave. Laughing, Zola said nothing and cleaned himself up with a tissue that he removed from his pocket .

"good to see you again Sgt Barnes" there was indeed a vast level of sarcasm in his words "you have been a very difficult man to find..."

"GO...TO...HELL" cried Bucky, panting hard and struggling to stay awake "YOU...SON...OF...A..."

A guard next to Zola reached forward and slapped the soldier hard across the face, instantly Bucky's mouth filled with blood and instinctively he spat over at Zola once more, this time missing him completely

"The loss of the arm may set us back slightly.. " cried Zola, ignoring Bucky completely now and turning back to his team "but if we act fast...at last my program is coming to fruition...prepare the operating room...that arm needs removing"


	7. Part 6

_**The Operation...**_

Hurled onto a nearby trolley, Bucky's eyes gazed up at the ceiling and the never ending trail of lights above as he was pushed along in the darkness of the Hall. His eyes began to flicker throughout as he continued to slip in and out of consciousness. With the trolley coming to a stop, he slowly turned his head and was able to catch sight of two guards dragging out a young man along the corridor. The man looked a similar age to Bucky and it was pretty easy to see that he'd been beaten to the brink of death. Bucky watched on in horror as the man was hurled to the floor of another cell before being hit with several devastating kicks before the cell door was slammed shut...

The trolley now started moving again and once again that all too familiar smell of damp and decay filled the air. That alone made Bucky feel sick to the very depth of his stomach. Soon the trolley pushed through some double doors and signalling Bucky's arrival at the operating room. His eyes scanned this new area and once again that smell of death and decay quickly filled his lungs. Next to him was a body of a man crumpled and obviously dead on a neighbouring trolley. The body had a gunshot wound to its head and once he spotted it, it made Bucky even more nervous and anxious at their plans for him.

Moments later two nurses along with several other doctors entered the room. Each wearing sets of scrubs and the appropriate clothing for when someone was being prepped for surgery. Bucky knew that the men might not help him but he had to try and reach out to the women right? Yet both nurses stood there emotionless and barely flinched over the body of the broken soldier next to them. Using his strength he managed to grab one of them and much to her horror he was able to pull her down to his level. The woman called out to the nearby guards who ripped the woman away from his grasp and proceeded to slap Bucky hard across the face in retaliation

"Sgt Barnes, I will now leave you in the more than capable hands of Dr Erikson" said Zola soon entering through the double doors and heading to Bucky "he will take good care of you for sure... "

"what...what... Are you... Going to do to me?" Cried Bucky, trying to reach out for the evil doctor "please... Just...kill me now and be done with it..."

"Death isn't an option today Sgt Barnes..." he cried with a smirk. Picking up a needle he pushed up Bucky's sleeve and injected the full vial into his arm. Bucky felt the serum instantly flow through his veins, instantly locking his body and leaving him even more helpless than ever. He could still move his eyes and observe everything that was going on but his body was now frozen. His eyes widened in deep unprecedented fear as the sudden realisation hit him that he was now trapped and trapped inside his own body "prep him. Then get that arm fixed" cried Zola once more "Failure isn't an option...do not let me down..."

Trapped in his own body, Bucky could do nothing but watch as the two nurses returned clutching 2 large pairs of scissors. The metallic blades catching the light of the full moon beaming in from the neighbouring window. Quickly they removed his leather boots and unravelled his socks before hurling them to the floor. The first nurse raised his ankle slightly and began to cut up the leg of his trousers, only coming to a stop at the band on his waist. The sheer sharpness of the blade making little work of the denim and cut through the material was ease. With one leg done she repeated the same action with his other leg. After one sharp pull, she was able to slip the garment off with ease and quickly hurled it onto a nearby chair. Helpless, Bucky closed his eyes as he felt her hands move to the waistband of his underwear. She quickly gave her friend a cheeky wink before she slipped them down his leg and hurled them in a similar direction to his trousers. Right now, Bucky felt nothing but deep shame and embarrassment overwhelming him. Made even more worse as the two women began to giggle and blush furiously at his now near nakedness. Every last inch of his dignity and self worth quickly bring stripped away from him. His lower half completely on show for all to see and thanks to whatever the hell Zola had Injected into him, there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

Eventually the nurse covered his lower half in a blanket and nodded to her friend. The other nurse quickly managed to remove the blood stained blue jacket. On doing so the small photograph of his parents that had given him so much comfort in those early days since the fall, fluttered to the floor and landed in a nearby puddle. Bucky watched it fall and he just wanted to cry. He couldn't do a thing as his body was still locked and continued to leave him helpless and at the sheer mercy of the torture being inflicted on him. They indeed had taken his dignity but as he watched the image of his beloved parents disappear, they had now stripped him of all hope too.

Saying nothing, the second nurse reached for the scissors and began to cut at his shirt. Placing the scissors to one side, she then ripped open the garment and let all the buttons fly off in every direction possible. With the shirt now removed, joining the remainder of his clothes on the floor, a sole tear fell from Bucky's cheek as the nurse caught sight of a chain around his neck. Yes, he wore his military dog tags but hiding just behind them was a small St Christopher necklace. Bucky never took this off and wore it to every mission he was ever sent on throughout his military career. It was a birthday present from his sister Rebecca and she had it engraved with the words _**"love you Uncle Bucky"**_ as a special gift from his nephew David. Like the photo this gave him deep comfort during those dark lonely moments of war

"no...not that.. Please... That's mine...don't take it" begged Bucky, his heart breaking "not that... "

Checking that nobody was looking, the nurse quickly scanned the room and ripped it instantly from his throat. Smiling in glee as she quickly showed it to her friend before popping into her pocket. Bucky could to nothing but watch as the very last remnants of his family life was forcibly stripped away from him. Leaving him now officially... _ **Broken**_

"He's all ready doctor... " cried the nurse, again reaching for the chain and showing it to her friend "all prepped... "

Lifting his mask, the leading surgeon nodded to his assistant to hand him the saw. Bucky could instantly hear the loud whirring of the blade as seconds later the tool soon came into view. Turning his gaze slightly he caught the doctor edging ever close to the small remnants of his shattered limb. He gripped his eyes firmly shut as he waited for the inevitable. The impending merger of bone and the rotating blades from the saw. It all became too much for Bucky now and thankfully he passed out before he could see impact. The sound of the saw was alone enough to make him want to vomit

With one surgeon busy with the arm, several others were dealing with other areas of Bucky's broken body. The fall had indeed broken both his legs. So splints were soon attached to each leg to aiding the healing processes. If Zola's theory about the serum giving Bucky speedy recovery power was correct, then this alone should help him further.. Plaster was also added to his legs to hopefully speed the process up. Next were his broken ribs with these being strapped up tight with bandages. Finally the numerous cuts to his torso were quickly stitched shut to prevent even more risks of infections and further tissue damage.

Hopefully all this would indeed save James Buchanan Barnes's life and to further aid Zola in his dream of making the Winter Soldier program a reality... No matter how much it left Bucky Barnes well and truly... _ **Broken**_


	8. Part 7

_**6 weeks later...Bucky awakes**_

In a bid to speed up and further Bucky's healing process, Zola made the decision to place him into a medically induced coma and move him to an isolation room at the far end of the hospital wing. Still keeping him sedated in the process but also monitored regularly by either Zola himself or another member of his team. Further studies were still continued on Bucky and Zola visited him regularly to draw further blood samples. They studied him in even more depth now and furiously would make notes on any changes or further reactions to the serum. Zola was delighted that Bucky still continued to show signs that the super soldier serum was further attaching itself to his cells. Although Bucky was still kept in a medically induced sleep, he was still injected with intense amounts of the serum on a regular basis. Zola was desperate for Bucky to heal from his injuries as quickly as possible. This meant the dosage had to be increased at a now alarming rate. Of course Bucky remained unconscious throughout the constant blood tests and experimentations with the super serum vials. This was a good thing really as who knows if he would survive mentally and physically as Zola's tortures continued

As the weeks progressed, Zola's theory of increased serum doses speeding up Bucky's recovery began to come true. His broken legs healed within an astonishing fortnight, his ribs even quicker and the various cuts and wounds on his torso closing up within days. At first glance the only thing that would draw your attention to him was that he was the fact he was missing an arm. Zola was ecstatic at Bucky's healing process. This further indicated to him that he had indeed found the perfect subject for the winter soldier program...

Four weeks after the operation and Zola was even more pleased with Bucky's recovery. He took the idea to slowly bring Bucky around from his coma and move him to his own cell within the compound. The cell would be close to the lab making him more accessible for more tests and still give him the isolation they needed to break him down even more mentally. Today, 2 weeks after being moved and 6 weeks since that first operation, Bucky still hadn't awoken from his slumber...that was until now...

Waking up with a start, Bucky's eyes suddenly opened wide continuously gazing up at the ceiling. He could tell instantly he was lying on a bed of some sorts. The bed was hard, rough and he felt a spring digging deep into the bottom of his spine. The smell of dampness was instantly overwhelming for him in his lungs. He scrunched his eyes at the bright light beaming from a lamp above his head and sipping through his closed eyelids. For Bucky he never felt more powerless than he did right now. Slowly his eyes blinked desperately as he lifted his eyelids open to see where he was now...

"where am I?" he shivered slightly as it dawned on him that he was bare-chested and only wearing a starchy white pair of briefs "what happened?"

As he slowly adjusted to the bright lights, he managed to raise his head slightly and could see that he was in some kind of prison cell. The room was dark, damp and gloomy. The walls were a sickly green in colour and Bucky swore he heard a rat scuttling underneath the bed. There was a mean barred opening with thick bars in a tiny window up high next to his bed. The whole room just reminded him of death and decay. There was little to no natural light in the room and all Bucky could hear was the sound of his own breathing with the occasional screams of his fellow prisoners down the hall...

Rolling to his side, Bucky lost his balance as he was suddenly hit with the immense realisation that his arm was now well and truly gone. He began to panic within seconds and pant hard at the sight of the area where his arm had once been. He was just about to scream when an intense rush of memories of all that had happened to him over the last several weeks started to come back to him. The nurses stripping his clothes from his broken body, the stealing of his treasured St Christopher, the fear when he first heard the bone saw during that first operation as he was left trapped within his own body and helpless to do anything about it. He began to remember the many moment's when Zola subjected even more dangerous serums. Zola had now taken his arm as well as his dignity. Using his sole arm, he used every last ounce of strength he had and somehow managed to eventually pull himself up to a sitting position. Only to be greeted by Zola grinning at him through bars of the cell

"ah you're awake at long last "

Bucky tried to turn his body round to face him but fell off the bed, hitting his head hard on the cold stone floor below. Taking a deep breath he clawed his way on all fours over to the bars where Zola stood. Reaching up for the bars, his strength leaving him but still aiming daggers at his captor

"YOU. You did this!" anger and hate filled his words towards the evil doctor "What did you do to my arm? "

"I must say I am extremely disappointed at your lack of gratitude asset " hissed Zola "The only thing I have done was save your life with my work...If it hadn't of been for me you'd of been dead for sure.."

"I wish I was dead...you should have just left me there" cried Bucky, falling backwards still exhausted. His eyes dropped to the various scars on his arms that was obviously from all the injections he'd received "You...you drugged me with god knows what! What do you want from me?"

"you are destined for great things asset. You have been chosen to bring about a new dawn in HYDRA. You will leave a everlasting legacy that everyone will grow to fear. It will all be thanks to you ..my greatest weapon"

"captain America will kick your ass" Bucky spat up at Zola's face that barely caused the doctor to flinch. The guard edged forward ready to hit Bucky with his baton, only to be stopped at the last minute by. Zola reaching for his arm "he will kill you...he will come looking for me...I know it"

"Believe what you want asset but nobody knows you're here. Nobody knows we have you. Everyone thinks your dead...even your parents" he lifted up a paper showing a memorial page for Bucky on the front. He could see images of his parents and sister at what looked like his apparent funeral "nobody is coming to find you...who in their right mind thinks you survived that fall?! You're already dead asset but I'm giving you the chance to be reborn "

"asset!? Any do you keep calling me asset?" cried Bucky using the bed to get to a sitting position but still on the floor "MY NAME IS SGT JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES OF THE 107TH REGIMENT.. I WAS BORN MARCH 10TH 1917" his shouts echoed through the cell but still he was determined then ever to get to his feet "I AM THE ELDEST CHILD OF HENRY AND ALICE BARNES...JACK AND REBECCA BARNES ARE MY SIBLINGS...I AM NOT YOUR GOD DAMN ASSET YOU EVIL SON OF A BITCH" Miraculously adrenaline flew through him now and he got to his feet, standing defiantly in front of his evil captor "MY NAME IS BUCKY...CAPTAIN AMERICA WILL FIND ME...TILL THE END OF THE LINE STEVE"

Hearing enough of Bucky's defiant ramblings, Zola let out a deep sigh and told the guard to enter the cell. Raising his baton, the guard caught Bucky square in the face twice. The immediate impact, jolted Bucky's head back and came crashing hard on the dampness of the floor below his feet. Not quite knocked out, The guard kicked Bucky in the face again and again. Blood poured from his mouth and nose but the impact had done its job, until Bucky was finally knocked out cold once more...Dropping the baton, the guard reached under Bucky's torso and dragged him back to the bed. With a nod from Zola, the guard attached two cuffs to his ankles and soon attached them to a nearby pipe by a long rusty metal chain. With his feet locked in place, Zola handed him a set of handcuffs to which he attached one round Bucky's sole hand and then onto the bed. Even if he woke up, Bucky was trapped...

"You see Asset.." menacingly Zola cried over Bucky's unconscious form. He beamed from ear to ear "I own you now...you belong to HYDRA now "


	9. Part 8

_**The next progression...**_

With the days slowly turning into weeks, Bucky continued to remain in his cell as he adjusted to life without his arm and the overwhelming loneliness of being in forced isolation. Every day, he'd sit up on the bed and just sit for hours staring out into the dimly lit surroundings of his cell. His only companions were the rats scampering under his bed or the guards ready to beat him viciously every time he failed to compile with their orders.

The loneliness and isolation was the worst kind of pain for Bucky, almost like it had a vice like grip on his heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to be a constant pain that was on equal to that he still suffered from his arm. It killed him everyday, just a little bit more and began slowly killing his spirit altogether. Taking whatever once was his inner light and replacing it with the overwhelming darkness that now possessed his soul. He closed his eyes, trying to still cling onto the happy moments in his life as he desperately fort against the darkness of depression. Remembering all those special memories that bought him so much joy and happiness before this nightmare began. Memories such as the birth of his nephew David, playing down on the docks with Steve when they were kids and the grand celebration of a Barnes family Christmas. Struggling to hold back the tears, he forced out a smile as he could still recall in detail jack laughing as his dad made a highly inappropriate joke. All the while as he desperately carved at the delicious Turkey his mother had cooked. Oh how he wished he could stay here in his dreams but as he slowly opened his eyes. The damp and decay of his cell hastily brought him back to reality. His heart full of despair as the dark cloud hovering over him gradually took his heart in its claws, squeezing out every last bit of happiness and tearing out the last remnants of joy circulating through his veins...

Looking down once more at the area where his arm once was, he was quite surprised at how long it took him to adjust without the limb. Being still clothed in only his boxers, dressing hadn't really presented him with many challenges at the moment but there was still moments when he forgot about the missing limb, moving his shoulder to reach for something as normal. There had been numerous moments when he went to reach for a blanket or try and grasp at the water bucket that was close to his bed. In his mind, he could still feel the limb and had dreamed it was still there numerous times over the last several days. He regularly suffered from a sharp twisting pain at his shoulder and their also seemed to be a permanent constant feeling of pins and needles at the bottom end of his stump. Sometimes the drugs Zola injected in him eased the pain but this was only ever a temporary measure.

His arm may of gone now, but Bucky's mind still continued to send messages to his absent limb and it got to a point now it almost felt like it was still there. An example of this happened several days ago when one of the guards slipped him his food tray under the bars of his cell. The guards took great pleasure daily in mocking Bucky and his disability. Whenever the bought him his food tray, they always placed it at an angle and this created a permanent challenge for him to reach it on a daily basis. That day, the guards watched on laughing at the broken man on the floor as he'd desperately tried to use his stump to push the tray forward so he could use his good hand to grasp it up. The guards mocked him in their native tongue and just as Bucky managed to grab the tray, it toppled over, spilling any remnants of his meal onto the damp wet coldness of the floor below. The guards roared in laughter as the desperate man ravaged through the dirt for even the tiniest edible morsel. These taunts broke Bucky constantly and sent him even further down that dark black path of depression that he was currently on...

To add further suffering and to crush his spirits even further, the guards beat Bucky viscously on a daily basis. This had been ordered by Zola as another way of showing Bucky who was boss and drumming it into him who was in control now. At the beginning Bucky fort back the best he could. He was able to use his skills from his Army boxing days to defend himself. Yet as the weeks went on, his body started to give up all together, that proud defiance he showed in those early moments all but vanishing altogether. Giving further indications that Zola's devastating tactics of breaking his mind even further was very much working now. With his mind slowly becoming Broken, Bucky's physicality on the other hand was starting to grow at an alarming rate. Exactly as Zola had promised. The further injections of the super serum were doubling his muscle capacity at an alarming rate now. His appearance was altering at such an speed now that nearly all those aspects of the former clean shaven soldier he once was were all but gone. He hadn't shaved in weeks and his hair was now a tangled greasy mess falling over his shoulders. Leaving him even more a shadow of his former self...

"ah Asset... I trust you are well this morning? " cried Zola entering the cell with a huge bodyguard armed with what Bucky could see was an electric cattle prod. He placed his case on the bed next to Bucky, opening it up to reveal even more syringes and vials. Before he could react, he grabbed Bucky's arm and took another blood sample "its good to see that you are not resisting anymore... At last you finally understand how important you are in our plans... You have recovered well enough now to begin transitioning preparations for phase 1 of becoming the winter soldier...it begins..."

"what the hell are you going on about?" Bucky's eyes rolled back as he suddenly felt weak from the blood removal with the serum continuing to flow through his veins "winter soldier?"

"yes, You have been chosen to be reborn as the winter soldier, the greatest killing machine the world will ever have known. You are the going to be HYDRA'S newest weapon"

"me? Why? That's why you've been doing all this to me?"

"it is your destiny...this is why survived the fall from the train... This is your rebirth asset...a rebirth that will make you a legend... Your work will become a gift to mankind"

"ill never do your bidding... "cried Bucky getting to his feet and towering over the man "ill never kill innocent people for you...no matter how long it takes you to break me...I'll never do what you want...NEVER"

"You say that now asset but you have no say in the matter...I assure you " Zola urged the bodyguard closer, who immediately hit Bucky straight in the chest with the cattle prod. Bucky's body fell backwards hitting the floor hard as the ruthless guard hit him with it again... And again. His body shook furiously as the thousands of volts flew through him and the prod sparked furiously. Pleased that Bucky was out of it, Zola got up from the bed and stood over the broken body of Bucky Barnes. A small smirk filled his lips "you don't have a choice asset...the wheels are now in motion...HAIL HYDRA"


	10. Part 9

_**The arm...**_

Ever since he first fell from the train, waking up was no longer becoming the pleasure it one was now for Bucky Barnes. As he slowly rose from this present slumber, the first thing that hit him was the harsh coolness of air filling his lungs. He began to wonder if he was still dreaming as this was a very different aroma to that of what he'd experienced over the past several weeks. There was no mass of dampness and decay in the air now. Being replaced with an overwhelming smell of bleach and chemicals.

His eyelids were still closed firmly shut, clinging further onto those happy images of his family. Thoughts turning to Steve and the many times they hung out together back in Brooklyn. He was so Happy back then, so free spirited without a care in the world. If only he could go back and relive those times once more. He'd give his soul to see Steve one last time or hear that calming soothing voice of his beloved mother. As he took a deep breath, Bucky knew that the moment he opened his eyes, those treasured images would fade into nothing. Nothing more than a mere memory. Only leaving him with an intense feeling of detachment and leaving him to explore the empty void of emotions in his mind...

Slowly, Bucky's eyes began to flicker. He gasped suddenly as once his eyes opened there was about 8 doctors surrounding his bed. Each doctor wearing starchy crisp white lab coats and standing emotionless as they circled him. Several began whispering to one another as they scribbled furiously on a clipboard while others began to take several photos of Bucky, blinding him with the deep beam of the flash. Slightly confused, Bucky looked down and could see that he was strapped down by the waist. He tried to wriggle free from the bonds but it was a tight bound and impossible to break free. Desperately he called out to the group of doctors surrounding him but still they stood emotionless, burning deep into Bucky's soul with a deep icy glare

"Asset is now awake and has not noticed changes to limb.." cried one of the doctors into a Dictaphone "limb is now fully functional and following Assets brain activity...Asset seems alert and ready to progress to phase 1 of the winter soldier program..."

Bucky was confused more then ever at the doctors words. He remembered Zola calling him "The asset" previously but what was this talk about a new limb they were going on about? He slowly lifted up his good arm and could see that apart from further increased muscle mass, it was pretty much as it was before. The other half of him felt different though. He tried to raise his shoulder but for some strange reason it felt heavy, like some huge weight was pressing down on it. Panting hard, he gritted his teeth and used all the energy he had to raise the shoulder. Within seconds a full metallic arm prosthetic met his gaze. The shock hit instantly, his eyes widened in shock as his heart beat furiously in his chest. Leaving him feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Bucky whimpered almost child-like at the cold mass of metal in front of him. Tears of shock and deep fear flowing from his eyes...

"WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS IT?" he cried. Bucky closed his good hand into a ball and much to his surprise so did the metal one, almost in unison "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME? WHY?...WHY?"

The circle of doctors soon parted as there stood the middle was Zola, grinning proudly. There was an even more air of arrogance about him now. Bucky reached out for with the metal arm but it soon became too heavy for him to lift once again and dropped beside him on the mattress. Looking down at this limb, he sobbed even more broken than ever at the metallic mass looking back at him. Desperately he tried to claw at the part attached to his shoulder with his nails and try and remove it but it was useless. Taking all his energy in the process. It was part of him now. He stared continuously for several more minutes at it and could make out the veins pulsating at his shoulder at where the metal met skin..

"Good morning Sgt Barnes.. As you can see now you are ready to become the new fist of HYDRA" Zola's piercing stares pierced deep into Bucky's distraught tear strewn eye's as the distraught soldier continued to desperately pull at the arm "we had to make some minor adjustments but you my asset are READY"

"MINOR?..." The pain at the sheer weight of the limb hit him hard. His heart beat even more furiously In his chest now as a huge rush of adrenaline flew through his veins. Slowly through gritted teeth, he clenched the metal hand into a ball and punched a nearby doctor straight in the face. Blood poured instantly from the mans nose "WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?' TAKE IT OFF ME...I DONT WANT IT...GET IT OFF... TAKE IT AWAY.."

"that is not an option Asset... We needed you in one piece. That arm is part of you now. Its the symbol of your rebirth and start of your new beginning" the doctor glared further at the distraught sobbing man "phase 1 will now become a reality..."

Gritting through the pain, Bucky used Every last ounce of energy he had to raised his new arm once more. He reached over to another doctor and squeezed at this mans throat. The doctors eyes bulged furiously as Bucky's grip tightened hard and the doctor continued to struggle for air. All the anger and aggression against his captors and tormentors bubbling furiously as he squeezed the doctors neck even more tighter. Zola watched on and smiled. Pleased that he was already seeing signs of Bucky's new super strength and ability. He nodded to another doctor and within seconds Bucky was hit in the arm with a mild sedative. Instantly Bucky released his grip on the doctors throat as his head fell slowly back onto the pillow

"I had a life...I had a life Dammit...I had a family...I had friends" Bucky sobbed struggling to speak as the overwhelming heartbreak hit him "You've taken everything from me now... Everything...I want to die... Please just kill me...I don't want to live anymore "

"but we are giving you a new life Asset...one that will make you a legend" Bucky wanted to so spit in his face so badly right now but the pain he was currently feeling left him exhausted, his mind broken "phase one...begins NOW "


	11. Part 10

_**Phase 1 begins..**_

Within seconds two guards appeared at Bucky's bedside. Each grabbing him at the shoulders before yanking him violently off the bed. His ankle twisted slightly as they dragged him forcibly out of the recovery room and along the damp dark corridor outside to a new part of the hospital wing. He didn't recognise this part of the compound. This new room was huge. Like some kind of old warehouse. The room was filled with numerous computers and left him slightly confused at seeing such technology. He glanced up briefly and saw several people hitting the keyboards furiously in the distance as others scrawled down notes on clipboards. This was technology like he'd never seen before. It was 1945 for goodness sake. How could they have thing's like this?

At the centre of the room was a strange looking leather chair that seemed to be connected to several computer screens. Trying his best to free himself from the vice like grip of the guards, he kicked out his legs and knocked over a stand that was holding a clear IV bag in the process. The guards quickly overpowered him and slammed Bucky into the chair. His head bounced off the leather hard but he still wasn't ready to give up. Summoning all his strength, Bucky sat up quickly and tried again to flee but once more the guards overpowered him, quickly pushing him backwards deeper into the chair. His ankles now firmly locked in tight with cold metallic chains before they fastened him further at his wrists. His breathing turning deep and shallow now as he could start to feel the signs of a full blown panic attack quickly set in. His heart almost bursting clean out of his chest, almost feeling like he was having a heart attack. He looked pleadingly over at the numerous doctors surrounding him. Desperately hoping that one would take pity on him and stop whatever it was they were planning. Yet, nobody did and they all stood emotionless and just focusing on the computers surrounding him...ignoring him altogether

"please... I'm begging you...whatever it Is you're going to do...please don't" he pleaded repeatedly, turning to Zola with deep mercy in his tear strewn blue eyes "don't do this..."

Ignoring the desperate man, Zola nodded to his assistants who pressed at several buttons on one of the computers. Within seconds, something pieced sharp into Bucky's spine, locking him further in place and leaving him even more trapped. The pain was sharp and he almost spat out the mouth guard that had been forced into mouth. Panting hard, his eyes widened in deep fear as he watched the huge metal circular frame above his head edge closer. He bit down harder on the mouth guard as sparks of electricity flew from two smaller attachments on the frame. The sparks blinded Bucky briefly but there was nothing he could do. He was trapped. As the smaller parts of the frame attached themselves to either side of his head in a vice like grip, he spat out the mouth guard and panted heavily once more. The smaller parts of the frame further locked in tight and instantly Bucky could feel something instantly digging into his temple. Whimpering almost child-like he closed his eyes and waited to the inevitable...deep down he knew he couldn't fight this now, no matter how hard he tried. He closed his eyes firmly shut, desperately trying to think of anything that would get him through the next few minutes. He thought about his mum doing his laundry when he still lived at home, he thought about the numerous times he had saved Steve from getting his ass kicked and he even thought about his first kiss with a girl when he was growing up. Anything...just some comfort to focus on. Yet, judging by the way he'd been broken down these past few months, he wondered if this was even possible anymore. The loneliness and depression had ravaged his soul deep now. Maybe those memories had already gone all together

"please...please don't do this... " Bucky pleaded again, desperately begging for mercy to anyone to hear "Dont..."

Continuing to ignore him, Zola gave the nodded and within seconds immense electricity passed through the machine and direct in Bucky's skull. The pain was like no other. His screams in agony were deafening only matched by his sobs. Sweat poured down his face as his body shook furiously in the chair in overwhelming spasms, every volt hitting every nerve in his body. There were intense vibrations going up his arms, every hair on his head standing on end as his screams continued to echo around the room. Giving a nod, Zola watched as the assistant turned a dial to increase the voltage. Once again Bucky screamed out in agony. The broken soldiers cries had a raw quality to it now, the realness of a person consumed by a pain that knew no end or limit. Tears streamed down his face and mixed instantly with the pools of sweat glistening over his ivory skin. He all but wanted to die at this pain right now. Just to be reunited with Jack and experience the beauty that heaven had to offer. Gritting his teeth further as the electricity hit even deeper to the very depth of his core. His energy all but gone now as he struggled for breath, he was exhausted and drained. His broken body all but giving up on him now, leaving his piercing screams the only things left behind.

Zola nodded once more and thankfully after several more minutes Gave the word to cease with the electricity pulse. Still sobbing, Bucky whimpered in relief at the torture finally coming to an and. The two guards headed over to him and quickly released him from his chains. Exhausted and broken, Bucky's body immediately gave up on him altogether and he instantly slid off the chair, crashing hard on the damp wet floor below. His chest pressed tight against the floor and restricting His breathing even further

The guards wouldn't let him rest and dragged him to up his feet, bringing him over to Zola. Bucky's eyes rolled backwards and he knew he was going to probably pass out soon enough but he was determined to meet the gaze of his evil torturer. Every last ounce of energy had vanished now...leaving him indeed a shadow of his former self...

"What is your name asset?...tell me now " Bucky's head dropped to his chest breaking the gaze with the man. Instantly a guard pulled the back of his hair and yanked his head dangerously backwards. He groaned in further pain but looked at Zola once more "that's more like it asset. Now tell me your name?!"

"Ja...James...Buchanan... B...Bar ...Barnes" whimpered Bucky through tears. The guards forcibly pushed his head forward, knocking his chin against his chest "Bucky..."

"Tell me your date of birth?!" Continued Zola, as a camera was literally shoved into Bucky's face to give further records into the process

"march...march," his legs gave way now but still the guards held him upright and to his feet "march...10th...1917"

"Now tell me your mother's name?"

Slowly he opened his mouth go speak but no word emerged. He could see his mother in his mind but when he thought about her name his mind went blank and foggy. Bucky closed his eyes, searching deep within his soul for the memories of his mother. He forced out a smile as he could see her baking in the kitchen one day, covering his uniform in flour as she reached forward to give him a hug. He could see her laughing as he pulled up to her feet to dance as her favourite song came on the radio. Her warm caring smile etched in his mind as she took his hand within her own as he twirled her around the living room as his dad looked on proudly. Bucky could see her so clearly in his head but why couldn't he remember her name? This was his mother! His world... The one woman out of all that had been in his life that he'd loved more then anything. Frustration took hold now as he searched more memories but still he couldn't remember her name. ..

"ANSWER ME ASSET...WHAT IS YOUR MOTHER'S NAME?" Zola bellowed growing even more annoyed at Bucky's lack of response "ANSWER ME..."

"I DONT KNOW..." yelled Bucky, bursting into tears as his world further began sinking further in on him. His heart shattering into a billion pieces and breaking beyond repair now "WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER NAME!?" the guards, released him from their grasp and he instantly fell onto a crumpled heap into further gut wrenching sobs. Curling up into a foetal position on the floor, continuously trying to think of what her name was and the realisation that he couldn't killing him furthermore "I don't know ...I don't know her name. WHY? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME? Why don't I know her name?... Mom...mom I'm sorry... I'm sorry...forgive me...PLEASE FORGIVE ME...MOM...MOM"

The camera continued to film Bucky's motions and capture every aspect of his overwhelming pain and heartbreak. The broken man's sobs echoed the room now but still every one of the doctors stood observing him emotionless. The camera moved from Bucky and then up to Zola, gloating at the first steps of his program now becoming a reality...

"as you can see the first stage of electrical therapy was a partial success" smirked Zola, pointing down to the still sobbing emotional broken man on the floor "As I suspected the asset Has high levels of resistance to mind wipe techniques. This indeed will require several more bouts of electric therapy until full memories have been fully erased" The guards, dragged Bucky to his feet once again the camera was literally pressed in his face "background checks show that the assets mother was most important person in his life. The fact that he cannot recall her name is an amazing start for us and gives us further indication that with increased electrical therapy we will have full control. Asset will now be placed on ice until further discussions into altering voltage and serum doses may speed up memory erasures...Put him on ice now"

"ice?" sobbed Bucky, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME NEXT?"

On the far corner of the room was a strange looking pod attached to several wires and gas canisters. Bucky could do nothing but watch as a guard used two hands to turn at the wheel opening the strange capsule. Quickly Bucky was placed inside as a guard pressed a hand into his forehead to keep him upright. Two other guards edged closer to the pod, covering a belt over his waist and over his knees. Trapping him and restricting his movement even More. Tears in fear and frustration fell from Bucky's glistening blue eyes as there was nothing he could do but watch as the door to the pod was shut. The guard turning the wheel before giving Zola s thumbs up.

Inside Bucky watched on through a small glass viewing window by his Head. He caught sight of Zola telling another of his team go flick a switch. Bucky's eyes instantly widened in deep unprecedented fear as the temperature in the pod dropped within seconds. He shivered slightly but within seconds the entire capsule froze solid with him still trapped inside. Soon His eyes began to grow heavy and close firmly shut. Leaving him alone and with nothing...nothing but cold and blackness...


	12. Part 11

_**Phase 1 progresses further...**_

"So you think we have come to an agreement on the new level of voltage required for the electric therapy doctor?" nervously asked an old man in glasses turning to face Zola. He was there at that first meeting discussing the winter soldier program and replayed that moment the evil doctor shot his colleague for disagreeing with him constantly in his mind "you must he very pleased with the progression so far?...Sgt Barnes is very unique that is for sure..."

"have faith... " immediately the other doctor panicked as Zola reached into his briefcase. The doctor assumed it was for a pistol but soon breathed a sigh of relief when he could see it was several blue liquid filled syringes "I have increased the serum fluidity also so this should assist..." the men paused at the cryogenic pod containing Bucky "let us awake him. The chair for the electric therapy session has already been prepared. I think now we have increased the voltage even more memories will be wiped...I will be very surprised if he still has control after this latest session. I'd of underestimated him greatly"

Unbeknown to Bucky in his frozen tomb, three weeks had now passed since his first electric therapy session with the mind wiping machine that Zola had created. Giving the glass a gentle tap, Zola and the Doctor soon nodded over at one of his team sitting at a nearby computer. The computer was beeping furiously and had been monitoring Bucky's vital signs and brain functions now ever since he had been placed inside. The assistant bowed his head and pressed several more buttons before flicking up a switch. Zola and the other doctor took a step back as within seconds a intense beam of hot energy covered the pod and melted away all relents of the ice. The pod was still warm at the touch but Bucky's image was now clearly visible and gave Zola the first glimpse of his asset for several weeks. Zola edged closer and could see that although his head had fallen backwards and left his mouth agape, he must have managed to raise his hand up to the glass as his metallic palm was pressed to the tiny window.

With the pod still warm to the touch, this left the guards with a slight challenge at being able to open the pod and release Bucky from his icy tomb. Soon one of them found some gloves and was able to turn the wheel and unlock the pod. Within seconds, the door was forced open and Bucky instantly fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. Not moving at first but as a few more minutes went by, he began to pant heavily and mumble randomly under his breath. His hair was damp but had grown longer slightly as time had progressed. His shirt sodden a mixture of sweat and dampness from the pod

"Can't...can't see ..." cried Bucky in a voice no more than a whisper and full of pain "cant see ...blind. .my eyes... "

"its OK Sgt Barnes... " Gently the first doctor crouched down to the fallen man and gently placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. This being the first hint of kindness he'd received in months and the first time since he'd been captured that someone had used his real name also "its just a reaction to being awoken from cryo freeze...your sight will return shortly I promise...here...let me help you up"

The Doctor slipped a hand round his waist and took his non metallic hand within his own. Still stunned that someone was being nice to him, Bucky used the man to get to a standing position. Now at his feet, something in his heart felt like he could trust this man. He may not of been able to see but the doctors voice was so reassuring and comforting that he almost felt like he wasnt alone any more. He almost wanted to cry as the doctors warm reassuring words overwhelmed him greatly

"Thank you..." Bucky whispered, clinging onto the mans shoulder as the walked forward "thank you..."

The two men shuffled forward and as the journey progressed Bucky's eyesight began to return. His eyes flicked slightly and began to adjust to his surrounding's. Breathing heavily, Bucky caught sight of the fact that he was standing next to the mind wiping machine. His lip quivering in unprecedented fear as he suddenly had a flashback to his previous encounter. His heart beat furiously as he clung deeper onto the shoulder the doctor, fear overwhelming him as once again those early stages of anxiety began to bubble from deep within

"Please don't let them hurt me again...I don't want to lose more memories" he pleaded, turning to face the doctor. His words were almost child like and there was an air of innocence as he spoke "not...again "

The Doctors mind went back to his own son, who wouldn't have been a couple of years older than Bucky. He saw a lot of his own child in the broken soldier. Slowly he cupped Bucky's face and wiped one of tears that slowly fell down his cheek. The two men's eyes met and a warm smile filled the doctors face. Before the kind doctor could respond, two guards wrenched Bucky from the doctors arms and literally threw him hard into the chair. Bucky's head bounced furiously on the rear and just like last time, his legs were locked in tight and bound him at the wrist. Pleadingly Bucky's eyes fixed on the Doctor, his eyes widening desperately hoping the doctor would help and that he wouldn't have to relive the horror of his first encounter with the machine. The doctor headed over to Bucky and took his hand with his own, squeezing it reassuringly. letting out a deep sigh before turning back over to Zola at the computer

"sir...do you think it's s good idea to proceed straight away with the electric therapy? We haven't fully assessed what the effect the first stint on cryo freeze has on brain functions" The old man pushed his glasses up his nose and released his lock on Bucky's trembling hand "its my belief that you should allow his brain to recover from that first bout of therapy. Leaving gaps between sessions will allow his mind to adjust...I think he should go back to his cell...not to do this now to him...I believe in my heart that its the right thing to do...allow him to recover first"

"what are you trying to say doctor? " Zola could feel his anger bubbling furiously deep inside him. For him Bucky wasnt a human any more. He was an asset and nothing but a tool, a new weapon in his quest for ultimate power "are you wishing me to delay the progress just because you want him to feel better?...must say I am disappointed in your words doctor...you want show the asset sympathy? Show the asset kindnesses?"

"I'm just looking at this from a medical point of view sir" the doctor lied, gazing over at Bucky's tear strewn eyes and breaking his heart at the broken man's suffering "he isn't the winter soldier yet...he's a human being.. Just let him rest...recover... Allow him To adjust to this situation you've forced on him..."

Zola was livid right now. His eyes full of range at the sheer levels of defiance from the doctor. Part of him wanted to pull out his gun and shoot him immediately but he was torn. He needed the doctor for his program to continue. Panting hard and even more angry, he watched the doctor turn back to Bucky. Bucky was gazing pleadingly at the old man to let him go desperately, while the Doctor gently placed his hand on his bonds as he tried to give the soldier even the smallest bit of hope and reassurance. Zola observed as the Doctor reached for Bucky's face. He watched as the doctor tucked a lock of his long sweat soaked hair gently behind Bucky's ear. It was almost like he was a reassuring father who was desperately trying to put their child at ease. In Zola's mind though, Bucky was his property and had lost the right to be classed as a human being that very first moment he captured him back in Italy. Hearing enough he called over two of the guards and ushered them to the doctor. Immediately they both grabbed the old man by the arms and yanked him away. Deep fear filled Bucky even further now as he knew not even the doctor could save him now.

"You really have disappointed me" Zola was still full of rage as hr glared at the old man forcibly being held up in front of him. He edged closer and slapped the doctor hard across the face, catching him on the lip. His lip instantly swelled and a trickle of blood fell from his mouth. The old mans glasses fell instantly to the floor and the glass shattered at his feet "I have heard enough from you now doctor...get on with it"

With Zola's back now turned, The doctor gazed over at Bucky sobbing in despair as he watched that metallic frame above his head, slowly edge closer. His head soon firmly attached in the vice like grip. Bucky winced in pain once more as his spine was merged into place. The doctors heart broke as he met Bucky's glistening tear filled eyes for the final time. Again he thought back to his own son and could see a lot of him in the fallen soldier

"im sorry..." he mouthed down to Bucky, watching on in horror as the mouth guard was forced into his mouth. Bucky gritted hard but closed his eyes ready for the inevitable "Im sorry Sgt Barnes... I tried...I tried"

With the buttons now pressed, even more sparks flew from the machine and lit up the room instantly. Within seconds immense electricity passed to his skull just like before. Hitting every nerve and part of his core. The pain was immense and could instantly been seen in how tight he bit down hard on the mouth guard. Seeing him in so much pain was too much for the doctor to take. He turned his Head, closing his eyes firmly shut desperately not wanting to see any more. Sadly Bucky's screams only increased and echoed around the room. Several more minutes went by and the voltage was increased at an alarming rate now. The pain was like no other and every part of his body was in agony. Every muscle in a deep spasm at every volt passing through his fragile body. His body shook furiously and jolted even more awkwardly in the chair. Finally, the current was switched off and his screams slowly died down...leaving him only a whimpering mess and even more broken. With the procedure done, Zola edged over to Bucky. This time refusing to release him from his bonds

"Asset? Tell me your name?... NOW" he glared deep into the very depths of Bucky's soul as he grabbed his face forcing him to look at him. The broken man struggled to control his breathing as he looked at his tormentor. Slowly he opened his mouth to speak but it was like his voice had given up all together "WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "

"J...Ja...James Buchanan... Barnes" Bucky's eyes rolled backwards as did his head in the chair as Zola released his grip on his head "Bucky...my ...name ...is...Bucky...BUCKY... "

"asset... WHAT IS YOUR DATE OF BIRTH? ANSWER ME?"

There was a Stoney silence as you could see Bucky desperately trying to think of the answer the question. The cogs of his mind working over time. Bucky grew even more frustrated as the answer eluded him. It was a simple question but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't find the response. He tried to think of birthdays from his past but sadly all that he saw was nothing more then a blank screen. An overwhelming sea of nothing as he'd forgotten that very day when he was born

"AGAIN...what is your DATE OF BIRTH" Zola was crowing even more frustrated now and slapped the distraught soldier across the face "answer ME...NOW..."

"its ...it's ..." Bucky's pain was immense now as his heart-breaking sobs continued. He tried again desperately searching for an hint of the date in his mind but once more there was nothing "I DONT KNOW... I DONT KNOW... " he yelled through deep sobs "WHY? WHY ME?..."

"you know why asset...you're my property now" Zola cried. He turned back to the doctor "NOW...he can return to his cell...you can have your wish Doctor"

The Doctor watched in horror as the guards that held him released him and headed over to Bucky. Each releasing him from the chair and dragging him along the room and out the door. Soon the room emptied leaving the sole doctor alone. Bucky's plight had truly moved him to tears. Nobody should ever have to suffer the brutal torture that he'd been going through. After that last session, and knowing that there would be more to follow, he vowed to help this man. Hydra had taken everything from him and had left him immensely broken but the doctor had seen enough. Not caring about the consequences for himself, he made a promise to do all he could for the fallen soldier and hopefully help him escape

As he was just about to leave, something on the floor caught his gaze at the far side of his eye. Edging closer, he dropped to one knee and saw that it was a small silvery necklace glistening in the lights above his head. Taking it in his hand, he could see that their was a circle like charm attached to it. Holding it to the light, the doctor noticed that it was a beautiful St Christopher charm. Turning it over, his eyes widened to see it was engraved... Engraved with the words...

 _ **"Love you Uncle Bucky...love David xxx"**_


	13. Part 12

_**Having faith and hope...**_

Before long Bucky soon found himself back in his holding cell and back once again to the damp decay that had tormented him so much in the early days of his capture. With the cell door's now opened, the two guards literally hurled the poor man to the floor, like a piece of rubbish being discarded. This was yet another clear indication of how little they thought of him.

It had been raining recently and due to the several holes in the roof of cell, there was several large puddles of water covering parts of the floor. On impact, Bucky literally landed face first into one of the larger puddles that had formed close to his bed. Breathing heavily, he wiped the dirt from his cheek and ended up smearing it over his face in the process. Right now he didn't really care to be honest. The nightmare he was currently experiencing was showing no signs of ceasing. Leaving him once again to conclude that he was doomed to spend his days dealing with the darkness of loneliness and pain of the further mental torture

Almost right on cue, two guards entered his cell carrying a long rusty metallic chain between them. At the end of the chain were 2 silver thick ankle cuffs. Bucky tried to sit up but the guards showed him no mercy and pushed him backwards onto the cold floor below. With him down, the men wasted no time in attaching the cuffs to his ankles and chaining it to the bed

"Enjoy your food asset...," the guard smirked kicking a bowl in Bucky's direction "enjoy..."

The bowl instantly toppled over and its sloppy contents spilled all over the floor. Slowly, Bucky reached for the bowl in his metallic hand and hurled it hard into the opposite wall. The loud noise of the impact echoed around the room.

With his fear and frustrations growing further, Bucky curled up on the floor and began to whimper. How had his life ended up like this? Growing up he always dreamed big, shooting for the stars and never gave up on his hopes in life. His determination and heart could be clearly seen by anyone he came into contact with. He wasn't a quitter but right at this moment, for the first time in his life, he'd had enough. This was no life now. He always imagined himself growing old back in Brooklyn, marry some girl, knock out a couple of kids and die a happy old man in his bed. Yet, as he curled up even tighter in a ball on the floor, he knew this was never going to happen for him now. He'd well and truly passed the point of no return...

Unbeknown to Bucky, the kind doctor from earlier was standing at the entrance to the cell and was gazing at the fallen man through the bars. He watched, instantly feeling the man's deep pain and sadness on display for all to see. Letting out a deep sigh. He looked back down at the St. Christopher in his hand and back to Bucky. Never had he felt so bad for another human being than he did right now. The dogs in the kennels in the lower end of the compound were treated better than this poor man.

Taking a deep breath, the doctor reached for his keys and after quickly checking the coast was clear opened the door to cell. Poor Bucky was too caught up in his own mental anguish that he failed to hear the shuffling of feet behind him...

"Sgt Barnes..." He reached for Bucky's shoulder and instantly the man tensed up, pulling away. Dreading to see whom it was and what they were going go do with him next "its OK...its just me.." The doctor scanned over Bucky's arms and could see that owing to the intense sparks from the electric therapy earlier he was suffering from several deep burns. Here was also a cut on his forearm that was slightly agape and showing early signs of inflection "its ok...let me help you... Let me help you James..."

The doctor reached for Bucky's shoulder for the second time but this time he didn't flinch and his body relaxed instantly. He may of had his back to the voice but he recognised it instantly. It was the same voice that gave him that tiny bit of hope and reassurance he so needed earlier. Slowly Bucky turned to face him and was greeted an old man with white hair and round black spectacles. He had to be a similar age to Bucky's own dad. That warm and reassuring smile was exactly the comfort he needed right now

"you... You called me James.." he felt his eyes well up even further at the fact Someone used his first name to talk to him. For months he'd been called asset but hearing Someone actually say his full name like that was truly overwhelming "why are you doing all this for me?"

"That's your name isn't it?" The doctor smiled "im not like them...I'm prisoner just like you...now lets get you on the bed...I want to have a look at your arm "

Helping him back onto the bed, the doctor quickly sat next to him and reached for his bag from the floor. Bucky's eyes widened at the sight of more needles but the doctor assured him it was just a dose of anti biotic to heal some of his infected wounds. With that done, he then pulled out a small needle and thread and began to close up the cut on Bucky's shoulder

"Why are you doing this?!" whispered Bucky almost child-like "im grateful but I dong understand why?"

"Like I said James, I'm not like them.. " he squeezed his shoulder gently and forced out a smile "im a prisoner too. Forced to do their bidding. I couldn't take seeing what they doing to you any more"

Hanging on his ever word, Bucky listened as the doctor told him all about how he came to end up in HYDRA'S clutches. The doctor explained that his name was "Dr Lorenzo Ricci" and that he'd been forced to work for hydra for several years now. He was a local doctor in his hometown back in Italy, had a loving wife and a son a similar age to Bucky. Everything had been going well until Hydra arrived and took control of the town. They literally slaughtered everyone with sheer rapid machine gun fire as people fled for their lives. He could still remember in great detail coming out of his surgery, seeing people lined up in the streets and just shot dead in front of him. People he'd treated and helped throughout his medical career. The doctor fled back inside his surgery, desperately trying to warn his wife and son, who both worked at the practice, but it was too late. Dr. Ricci could nothing but watch as his wife and child were gunned down in front of him. He tried to reach out for their bodies but before long he was dragged away to an awaiting truck outside. His world shattered, he knew then it was the fact he was a doctor that Hydra had kept him alive

"im sorry about your family...I miss mine too" sighed Bucky "what's this program that they keep going on about then? What's a winter soldier?"

"They basically want to turn you into their latest weapon James" The doctor cried "turn you into a killing machine. A deadly assassin who will be almost like a ghost and strike unprecedented fear into everyone"

"But, Id never do something like that. They may have broken me right now but I'll never do their bidding" Bucky sat stunned "ill never kill innocent people for them.. Regardless of what they do to me"

"that's why they are wiping your mind James.. " The doctor reached over for his hand and squeezed it softly "once they wipe away your memories, they will have full control of you. They will mould you to do whatever they wish. Kill men, women and even children at their command"

"But...but I..." Bucky's mouth dropped agape as he sat stunned. The very thought of him killing an innocent child made him want to vomit "so once they erase my mind, I'll just be a shell. I'll have no control at all? What about my past? I had friends... I had family...I had a life " holding it back no more he burst into tears. His heart broke bad enough when he couldn't remember his mother's name but knowing that he'd forget her altogether was too much for him to take "I don't want to forget my mom...they can't take her away like that...not my mom"

"im so sorry but you will" signed Dr. Ricci painfully "they were hoping by now your mind would already by clear but they are shocked at how your mind is resisting the electrical therapy" he turned back to Bucky and reached for his face, wiping his tears softly "this shows me that you are a good man James. No matter what they do to you you'll always fight back... Here you might like this... " he reached into his bag once again and pulled out a fresh green Apple and a small baguette. Immediately Bucky snatched them from his grasp and devoured both like he was some kind of animal. The loneliness was breaking him sure but add his frequent hunger pains too and it was a deadly combination "oh and this... "

Looking up from his feast, Bucky's jaw instantly dropped. His hand trembled as he reached out for his treasured necklace. For the first time in weeks a smile relieved smile spread over his face. Quickly he bought it to his lips and kissed the silver circular charm part attached to the chain. He stayed still like this for several minutes desperately clinging onto that last remnant of his past. If the doctor was right, it would be only a matter of time before moments like this would be alien to him. This chain now was his last ounce of hope and last link to his beloved family.

"Thank you, my sister Rebecca gave this to me" his sob eased and he wiped his tears with his good arm "she bought it for me from my nephew David for Christmas" Bucky paused as an image of young David appeared in his mind. The boy doted on his uncle. He loved it instantly when Bucky joined the Army. At all the numerous Barnes family get-togethers, the little boy would always steal Bucky's hat and left everyone in fits of laughter as he began marching and saluting to other family members. Unable to keep it together he sobbed again as the images of the adorable little boy giving a salute faded away into the distance "im going to forget him too right? Oh David. Just know that where ever you are your Uncle Bucky will be with you always"

"im so sorry they are doing this to you James " getting to his feet the doctor headed out the cell. He felt so bad locking him back in the cell once again "I'll help you all I can I promise... I'll get you out somehow... "


	14. Part 13

_**Preparing to pass the point of no return...**_

Several days soon went by and Dr. Ricci was back busy in the lab, when he caught word that Zola had called for an emergency meeting in his office immediately. He turned to his colleagues and tried to get any more info but the team all just shrugged their shoulders and were more confused than ever. Nobody had a clue. As the team huddled together in the lab, several guards edged closer to the doctors and prodded their rifles into their backs. The doctors all raised their hands deeply in fear and were soon Led down the hall and back down to the once place they dreaded more than ever... Zola's office

Inside, Dr Ricci instantly saw Zola sitting over at the round circular table at the far end of the room. Sitting there enjoying every minute of his arrogant triumph. Zola greeted the doctor with a smirk, a small pouting of the lips. Dr Ricci had to turn away at the overwhelming arrogance oozing from the evil doctor. After witnessing Bucky's torture first-hand now the very sight of Zola made him sick. He was a kind man and didn't come to hate easily but he knew evil when he saw it and there it was glaring at him across the table. Dr Ricci wasn't bothered that he most probably risked death in his quest to save Bucky now. All that mattered was doing the right thing for Bucky Barnes and that meant getting him the hell out of here and far away as possible. He needed no permission from nobody to do the right thing...let alone the evil doctor. Letting out a sigh, Dr Ricci pulled out a clipboard and pen, determined to take as many notes as possible that he could share with Bucky later on that day...he didn't now but he'd get him out of this nightmare somehow...

"so you are probably wondering why I have called you here today? Am i correct?" Zola pushed his glasses up, wrinkling his nose slightly. Just as slimy and creepily as usual "I wish to discuss the progress of the asset. After 2 rounds of intense electrical therapy, I am truly astounded at how resilient his mind is. His mind is still not fully erased and I am not satisfied with this failure "

"but its a good start...maybe its best to take it slowly" nervously Dr Ricci raised his hand "I mean. We don't want to push James..I mean The asset too far. Who knows what damage will be caused"

" I knew that was how you'd respond Ricci..Don't say I haven't noticed your bond with the asset DOCTOR" full of fury, Zola slammed his fist on the desk and aimed a further deathly icy glare across the table "that is why on the completion of phase 1 of the project, you will be removed from the program..." he pulled out a small handgun from his pocket and placed it on the table, aiming it in the direction of the kind doctor "permanently... I know you understand... "

"um..so Sir... What is your next plan of action?" cried one the younger Doctors. Desperately hoping to break the anxious nervous tension between the two men "what are you going to do?"

Calming down, Zola returned to his seat and explained the Bucky would receive one last final course of electrical therapy. Unlike the last two sessions he'd had to endure, this would be several times more than the normal dose. The level of power would indeed be off the charts. Zola knew that if Bucky survived this, every last trace of his memories would be finally erased and at long last he would have control. He'd be able to finally at long last mould Bucky into the ultimate assassin that he wanted. Sgt James Buchanan Barnes would finally cease to exist altogether and only then could be reborn as...The Winter Soldier

"but with that level of dosage is way to high for any man to withstand...you will surely kill him. Or damage his brain permanently " cried, Dr. Ricci stunned and struggling to take in the evil counterparts plan "what if you do kill him? What will happen to your precious program then?"

"we have been studying the assets current brain functions and activity. We have calculated just the right amount to not cause death. Yes his brain is showing signs of damage at present but once the mind wipes process is complete, I'm confident this will repair itself. His attachment to the serums is proving this will be true" cried Zola proudly "yes we would have killed James Buchanan Barnes but he WILL be reborn... Reborn to be the future of HYDRA"

After sharing his plan, Zola dismissed the team and quickly followed them out of the meeting room. Dr Ricci was the only one who stayed behind and sat still in deep unprecedented shock at the table. He shook his head several times before raising his trembling hand up to take off his glasses. Letting out a deep heartbroken painful sigh, he leant forward and pinched the bridge of his nose. Slowly he gazed down at Bucky's image from his file and shook his head sadly, stunned at everything the poor man had been through. After spending time with the soldier, he knew that he was indeed had a good heart and didn't deserve any ounce of what they were doing to him.

He sat trying over and over in his mind to find a way to help this poor lost individual. As his frustrations grew, the doctor hit his fist down on the cold metallic table several times. Then it finally hit him...he knew exactly what had to do...his eyes widened as he finally saw the light and quickly raced out the door..

Before long, Dr Ricci was soon back in the lab in the room that contained the mind wipe machine and the cryogenic freeze pod. Bucky's piercing screams soon began replaying over his mind as he caught of the machine once more. Feel guilty he turned away and headed over to the computers next to the machine

"Im not going to let the erase everything James...I promise " thought the Doctor to himself "I can't let it happen... And I won't..."

Unbeknown to Zola, Dr Ricci had become highly skilled in the use of some of the heavily advanced technology that HYDRA had in their arsenal. When the lab closed for the night, he'd sneak in unnoticed and spend hours learning every aspect of the technology, trying to use this knowledge in a desperate bid to free himself from this prison.

Tapping the keys furiously, he quickly created a new computer program within the mind wiping machine and hopefully protect some of Bucky's memories. Yes, Bucky's mind would indeed be erased thanks to the electricity, but thanks to this program they would never fully leave his mind. These memories would remain deeply hidden within his heart and only be released when triggered by something he'd see or hear. For example, he might see a ball and it could unlock something within from his past. Like it could remind of him of a time when he and Steve used to play baseball in the front yard as kids. He could even hear a phrase and that too would trigger even more memories from the past. He just had to always look to his heart and find them deep within. Despite whatever Zola did to him, James Buchanan Barnes would always be part of who he was regardless...

With that set in place, Dr Ricci raced back to Bucky's cell. The good doctor had also got word that a truck would be arriving at the compound later that night to help transfer weapons to the next town along. He told Bucky, he'd come to his cell later and tell the guards they Zola wanted a blood test and he would be taking Bucky to the lab. On reality though, he would get them both on that truck. Finally they would both be free from the pain and torture they'd endured these past several months at the hands of Hydra

"You're willing to do all this for me?' Cried Bucky stunned at someone finally showing him kindness and giving him hope for the first time since his capture "thank you "

"Have faith James..." the doctor smiled, handing him more food he'd swiped from the kitchen "ill get you out of here...I promise...we'll escape TOGETHER.. "


	15. Part 14

_**Escape...**_

The eeire silence of the compound made Dr Ricci 's blood cold as a sudden chill crept through an open window within the lab. Bereft of any wind, the leaves outside hung limp until they fell at their own accord, there was no whispering or rustling. Only silence. It was as if nature conspired to keep him in the dark, not daring to whisper the reassurance he craved as he knew it was time to put the escape plan into action. The sudden noise of a truck could soon be heard in the distance pulling into the compound. He listened intently, the doctors heart began to race as he caught sight of the truck that would hopefully be his and Bucky's one chance at freedom. Peering through the bars of the tiny window, he knew it was time to finally put the plan into action once and for all.

Over in his cell, Bucky sat on his bed and began to think about the doctors plan. For the first time in months, he now had something that had somewhat been alien to him for so long. For the first time ever he actually had **_Hope._**. He had deep hope that he would get to hear the laughter of his mother once more, he had hope that he'd be reunited with Steve once again and finally he had faith that he would finally be free from the horrifying nightmare that he was now trapped deep within.

Hope is a bright star in a hopelessly dark universe. Though seen as light years in the distance, its brightness fills our inner selves. Hope makes us smile on the inside as well as out. Hope is not just an emotion, its a promise that smiling and laughter were just around the corner. Hope is drawn to the person who sees beyond the present, beyond the loss and beyond the negative words of hopeless voices. As of right now, Bucky was even more determined than ever to listen to the voice of that bright star telling him to look beyond the darkness. He was ready to embrace the bright light of _**hope**_...

Turning to the entrance to his cell, Bucky could see Dr. Ricci heading over to the guard that had been permanently assigned to his cell. The doctor caught Bucky's eye and gave him a cheeky wink. The soldier nodded in response but inside Bucky was ready... Ready more than ever to listen to the inner hope...and believe at long last in Freedom..

"evening, I am here to take the asset to the lab for a blood sample" there was a slight hint of nervousness in his words as his voice trembled slightly. Dr Ricci prayed the guard didn't notice or the plan would indeed be rumbled "open the cell now. I need to take him"

"on whose order?" asked the guard, raising his gun "well?"

"Dr Zola of course... Do you dare question his command?" He reached into his bag and pulled out an order that had been typed out on the computer. The order was signed indeed by Zola. Little did the guard know that it was fake and Dr Ricci had created it prior to arriving at the cell "is that proof enough for you?"

The guard quickly stepped to one side and allowed the doctor to entre the cell. Once inside, he quickly free Bucky from his chains and gripped onto his metal arm pulling him to his feet.

"lets go asset... NOW "

Leaving the prison block, Dr. Ricci still gripped tight onto Bucky's metal arm. On the way out they passed several other guards who each took it upon themselves to question what the doctor was doing. But once they caught sight of the fake memo from Zola, the two men were allowed to pass.

"Are you sure about this?" Bucky's heart began to pound at an astonishing rate now. Beating furiously inside his chest as they could see the awaiting truck being loaded with supplies in the distance "no telling what they will do to us both if they catch us.."

"no turning back now James... Have faith... Have hope remember " he smiled reassuringly "no time to waste my friend.. "

"friend?"

"yes. Friend" taking his hand within Bucky's own, the good doctor squeezed it gently "neither of us deserve what they have done to us James. Yes, its going to be dangerous but have faith my friend. We will be reunited with our families soon I promise. Weather it be in this life or the next. Quick James ..we have to go..."

Unbeknownst to the two men, Zola was still at the compound. He sat his desk carefully analysing the notes on the electrical surge levels for Bucky's final round of therapy. As he scanned the notes, he saw oddly that it had been several days since Bucky had last had a blood test. It had been down to to take samples from Bucky and follow the protocol. Deciding that there was no time like the present to take a blood sample, he quickly grabbed his bag and headed over to Bucky's cell. When he arrived, nothing really seemed out of the ordinary and it was still as damp and dreary as ever. He nodded to the guard outside but when he gazed into the cell, he was stunned to see it was empty

"Guard... Where is the Asset?" he quizzed "where is he?"

"he has been taken for a blood sample.." the guard gulped nervously as he hoped he'd said the right thing "he left with the doctor about 5 minutes ago.."

"RICCI..." Zola felt his blood boil, deep rage furiously bubbling inside to the very depth of his soul "on whose order? ANSWER ME"

"Yours..."

Zola raced out the holding area and hit an alarm on the wall. Within seconds the entire compound was filled with the deafening roar of the alarm. Red lights immediately sprang into action. Every single light in the compound went full brightness. Quickly Zola headed for the intercom and quickly pressed the button

"ASSET HAS ESCAPED THE COMPOUND...I REPEAT ASSET IS OUT OF CONTAINMENT... "

Seeing that they had both been rumbled, Bucky and Dr. Ricci both looked at one another and over at the truck. They could see that the driver was just about to get into his cab and this left them with seconds to get inside the rear. Both men ran as fast as they could, desperately trying to reach the sanctuary of the truck. Owing to his age the doctor struggled and seconds later fell to the floor

"go James...be free... Leave me here.." he panted, clutching his chest as he struggled for breath "your freedom is on that truck James...GO"

"NO...not without you " screamed Bucky. He pulled the old man to his feet, wrapping his arm tight round his neck and literally began dragging him along the floor "im with you till the end of the line Doc.."

Bucky quickly continued to drag the man along, dodging bullet after bullet from the guards in the process. Determined not to give up, they finally reached the safety of the truck. Bucky quickly jumped in the back and used his metal arm to reach for the doctor. He hoped his increased strength would help him pull the doctor safely inside. Gritting his teeth in sheer determination, Bucky soon managed to pull the doctor in and even get him up to a standing position at the rear of the truck

"thank God... Now we can get the hell out of... "

Unable to finish his sentence, Dr Ricci gasped suddenly and stared down at his shirt. Within seconds a red patch of crimson blood began rapidly spreading at the centre of his chest. Bucky could do nothing but watch as the doctor was hit with another bullet in the shoulder and then another caught him in the stomach. With each impact, Dr Ricci's body shook furiously as his blood shot through the truck and covered Bucky in the process.

Bucky froze in fear and fell backwards on his elbows at the back of the truck. He reached out for the dying man with his metallic hand but it was no use. The man fell backwards and his crumpled body hit the concrete hard. Almost in tears, Bucky jumped immediately out and cradled the dying man in his arms. His world crashing down even further now at the loss of the one person in this whole nightmare that had shown him kindness and given him hope. It had all been down to Dr. Ricci that his faith and belief had returned. As he looked down at his metallic hand covered in the dying man's blood, he really didn't know how he was going to survive anymore now

"Its...OK...James" whispered Zola, his eyes began to flicker as it was plain to see his life was edging away "I'll be reunited with my wife and Son now...I knew this day would come.."

"ill never forget all that you did for me.." said Bucky softly. He reached forward and closed Dr Ricci 's jacket so the man at least couldn't see the full extent of his injuries "you're a good man Doc...your family will be proud "

"As...are...you...Bucky" the gaps between his words began to increase and Bucky knew the good doctor wasn't long for this world now "I have...made ...made it...that...they will never wipe...your full mind James... Your...memories... Will there...deep...within... You...just...look to...your heart... James... "

Bucky couldn't hold it in any more now and began to sob down at the dying man. He could nothing more than watch as the lights began to flicker from the good doctors eyes. He reached for the doctors hand and took it within his own once more. Bucky's hand squeezed tight as it soon became cold within his grasp. Dr Ricci's head slowly fell back into the bridge of Bucky's arm, his mouth agape as his breathing soon came to cease. Right then, Bucky knew he was gone...he was dead

Every second he'd spent with the doctor began to pass through Bucky's mind and in doing so he couldn't hold the tears back anymore. Being as gentle as he could. Bucky lay the body back on the floor and slowly closed his eyes with the tips of his fingers. It almost looked like he was sleeping

"thank you for all that you did for me...Doc.."

After taking one last look at the man, Bucky ran as if he's life depended on it. He had to survive now. He had to survive for Dr Ricci, for Steve and for his family. Before long he made it to the end of the corridor but was soon met by several guards and quickly found himself in a heated confrontation where he was drastically outnumbered. During the fight, he used the metal arm to his advantage and managed to take several of the guards out. Yet, as he defeated one group of guards, even more appeared from nowhere and attacked Bucky in every way possible. Soon it began to take its toll. A sudden rush of pain jolted through his body. An unseen force hit him in the ribs. His stomach tensed up as more punches were impacted him. His arms soon began to flag and his legs slowly began to weaken as the onslaught continued...

"I'll never stop fighting..." he thought silently to himself as he dropped to the floor "NEVER .."

Now on the floor and exhausted from the beatings. a hard kick caught him straight in the face. His tongue was soon soaked with the taste of blood now. Bruised and injured, he managed to grab at the ankle of the guard that had kicked him. The guard fell to the floor but Bucky clenched his metallic hand and punched him straight in the face. Instantly the guards nose was broken. Even more guards started to arrived and soon Bucky was even more overpowered. Exhausted, his fight and fire from within was now finally soon extinguished. Two guards grabbed at his shoulders and began dragging him back down the corridor. On doing so, Bucky caught sight once again of the fallen doctor lying still on floor...

"Goodbye my friend..." he whispered softly...


	16. Part 15

_**Phase 1...COMPLETE**_

With his shadows already dissolving into the darkness of the room, Bucky couldn't help but panic when he caught sight of the memory wiping machine staring back at him. He bit his lip hard and as he began to pant, struggling to breathe. Dr. Ricci's words about how high the electrical surge would be soon filled his head and within seconds his anxiety levels were at breaking point

"NO...NO...NO..."

Bucky could feel the sweat drench his skin, his piercing screams for mercy vibrating in his ears and the overwhelming pain at his heart beating furiously in his chest. He couldn't really hear the sound of his own breathing but could instantly feel the oxygen flooding through his lungs.

As he was dragged nearer to the machine, deep fear tortured his soul, churning his stomach in tense overwhelming cramps and unprecedented fear knocked all other thoughts from his head. Desperate to avoid the inevitable, he kicked out at every guard that braved coming closer to him. Bucky was determined more than ever to fight back with every last fibre he had in his body. He clenched his metallic hand into a fist and managed to punch out one of the guards that had hold of his good arm. As the man stumbled back, Bucky turned to face him and kicked him straight in the stomach. The guard was instantly winded, releasing his grip on Bucky and finally allowing the desperate man to be free.

Running for his life, Bucky brushed past the computers next to the machine and managed to knock over several IV stands in the process. Struggling with his balance, he fell to the floor and desperately used a chair to get to his feet. Before he had a chance to stand, he suddenly felt a shock of electricity hit him at the lower part of his back. His body shook instantly, immediately disorientating him and making him collapse further backwards onto the floor. Soon, he felt the feeling of two pairs of hands on his shoulders, while 2 more hands grabbed his legs and lifted him off the floor between then. Slowly Bucky opened his eyes and gasped at seeing yet again the memory wiping machine staring back at him...

"NO...NO...I WONT LET YOU TAKE MY MIND" he screamed out defiantly "NEVER.."

His screams echoed the room but just like before, everyone the room stood emotionless and ignored the man's desperate pleas. The guards as usual showed him no mercy and literally hurled him into the chair. Two held his legs, while another literally ripped his shirt off has chest and hurled it to one side. Bucky watched in horror as a guard caught sight of his St. Christopher chain. Within seconds the menacing guard tore it from his throat and hurled it out into the darkness of the room. Bucky's tears in fear had now mixed with heartbreak at seeing that one last final remnant of his treasured family torn away from him

As the guards continued to hold him in place, a mouth guard was forced into his mouth. Bucky almost choked at the sheer force of brutality in which it had forced in. Yet he wasn't still ready to give up just yet and spat it out. This action just further infuriated the guards and resulted in Bucky getting a hard slap across the face for his disobedience.

With more fight left in him, he somehow managed to summon up even More from deep within his soul. Thanks to that sheer adrenaline rush, Bucky managed on last ditch effort from freedom and broke free from his bonds but alas it was in vain. One more shot with the Taser stopped him in his tracks. Before long he found himself back in the chair with at least five guards holding him in tight. This was it now. This was truly the end of James Buchanan Barnes for sure...

"PLEASE...please DONT DO THIS TO ME. "

His cries were in vain as they locked him in tight within the chair. Further tears streamed from his eyes as tried even more desperately to free himself from his bonds. Bucky almost bore the expression of a young child now rather than that of a grown man. Deep unprecedented fear hit him further within his soul as he slowly looked up and caught sight of Zola entering the room

"ready Asset?" Zola glared as he edged even closer to Bucky "your rebirth will begin NOW!"

Within seconds a button was pressed and the circular metal frame above Bucky slowly moved forward and locked itself tight on Bucky's Head. Owing to the fact he spat out the mouth guard, he had nothing to grip onto now as he prepared himself for the torture awaiting him. He gritted his teeth, tears streaming from His eyes as his voice began to quiver. Quiver to nothing more than a child like whisper. He pleaded one last time for mercy but was met with only Zola giving them the signal for starting the process once and for all.

The first spark flew from the Machine within seconds and Bucky yelped instantly with pain. The current immediately shook his body. His hands straining involuntary against that had held him down to the point of exit from his life.

"MORE..." cried Zola "More...NOW"

A dial was quickly turned and the voltage level was increased drastically. Every last nerve in Bucky's body was on fire right now. A pain like no other hit him hard. He could do nothing more than to scream out in sheer agony, tears burst even more from his glistening blue eyes and were almost like water from a dam as they spilled down his face. The muscles in his chin trembled and quivered like that of a small child as even more electricity passed through his body

"INCREASE THE POWER.." Zola bellowed, shielding his eyes as even more sparks flew from the vice that had Bucky's head trapped "I NEED THOSE MEMORIES WIPED NOW!..INCREASE THE POWER"

Bucky's sobs and cries grew even louder at every last turn of the dial. He gripped even tighter onto the armrest of the chair. The pain passing through him must of been coming in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breath before bring dragged back into the unprecedented pain flowing through his body right now

"FULL LEVEL REACHED DR ZOLA.."

Bucky's broken body began to jolt even worse than before as incredible levels of electricity passed through his body. Sweat poured down his head, glistening his face and began to drip down onto his torso. After several final minutes, the power finally ceased. Finally giving Bucky a chance to catch his breath and try to control his breathing the best he could. The metal vice soon released and the frame went back up to its original starting position. Not releasing him from his bonds just yet, Zola watched as Bucky continued to pant and desperately try get his heart rate back up to normal. He edged closer and stared straight into Bucky's hollow exhausted eyes...

"asset... What is your name?"

Saying nothing, Bucky just stared aimlessly facing forward. Staring into the damp darkness of the room in front of him. There was no anger, no sadness, no joy or resentment in him now. Zola tried again to ask him the question once more but was one again met with stony faced emotionless silence from Bucky. It was like he was here in body but that was pretty much it. It was almost robotic like as he sat there for several more minutes just gazing out in front of him. Growing frustrated, Zola tried one last time...

"Asset?. For the final time WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "

Slowly, Bucky turnved his head to face the evil doctor. His mouth was agape and his eyes wide in a permeant state of sheer confusion as he struggled to deal with what was going on around him right now

"name?... Name?...I...I...don't know " replied Bucky in a voice no more then a child-like whisper, bursting with innocence "my name? What's that?..."

"YES!" Zola literally was jumping for joy right now. This was the result he'd been so desperate for and had worked so hard to finally achieve. He had control of Bucky's mind now and he was free to mould the broken soldier into the assassin he craved. At last his winter soldier program was well on course to becoming a reality "we finally have SUCCESS.. put him on ice...time to prepare for phase 2"

When Bucky was placed in the cryo pod before, he fort hard but that was now the Bucky of old. Standing here now wasn't that man for sure. Even as they led him over the chamber, he didn't fight them and chose to continue to stare blankly out in front of him. In HYDRA's mind now James Buchanan Barnes was officially dead...the era of the winter soldier was now closer then ever at finally becoming a reality...


	17. Part 16

_**Control**_...

As the weeks slowly turned into months, Bucky began to show yet even more signs that he was now officially further broken and that HYDRA had an even tighter grip on his mind. For the past several weeks his routine had seen him awoken from Cryo freeze, taken for a painful round of even more electrical therapy, then be beaten to an inch of his life by the sheer brutality of the guards and after that only then be dragged back once more to the Cryo freeze chamber. This process basically had gone on every day for the last six weeks. He was exhausted beyond words but in his eyes, this was all he knew now. As well as the physical abuse, the guards took even more pride in further emotionally abusing him on daily basis. Like everyone else he came into contact with at compound, they called him "Asset" and drove it into him constantly. Rather than slip him his food through the bars of his cell, they would just throw it at him and drum it into him even further that he was nothing more than a "Dirty dog" or "Disgusting filthy Animal". Taking great pride constantly at seeing the broken man ravage through the dirt for food, just to stay alive. Things had gotten so bad that due to the constant taunting's and the fact that he didn't know any different, he was now starting to believe that this was in fact all he truly was. The frequent visits to have his mind wiped had effected him so badly now that he wasn't sure of what he was anymore or where his true place in the world was. He thought so little of himself and only saw himself as nothing more than a piece of rubbish that was not worthy of anything but the torture inflicted on him on a daily basis...

Every time Bucky was thawed out of the Cryo pod, he would be forcibly dragged along the corridor and back to Zola office. As well as the other forms of torture being inflicted it on him, Zola began using powerful mind control and hypnosis techniques on Bucky. During these sessions, it was almost like Bucky was falling asleep but he still held onto his conscious awareness. Still being able to hear and sense things around him. The passage of time was constantly distorted while he was under the hypnosis and gave him an almost state of euphoric peace. As he began to enter hypnosis, Bucky began to disconnect further from his body and his surroundings. Zola was very skilled at this and once Bucky was fully under this trance like state, it gave him even more accessibility to mould his mind and make him do whatever he wanted.

With the hypnosis sessions giving him even more control over Bucky's mind, Zola decided to implement several trigger words that when uttered, would kick in instantly and Bucky would do whatever was asked of him. These words may of been seen as just a bunch of random words strung together and didn't really mean anything but to Bucky, these words were symbolic fragments of his past and his memories. This was just yet another way of Zola mentally torturing Bucky even further. The ten trigger words and the symbolic connections went as followed...

 _ **Longing:**_ _The first of the trigger words was in relation to Bucky's longing to go back to his past before he fell from the train or either his constant longing to hold onto those memories that filled his head before his capture_

 _ **Rusted:**_ _This word was chosen as if it almost a slap in the face to what had happened to Bucky. This was to symbolise the rusted broken rail that he desperately clung onto for his life before that devastating fall from the train_

 _ **Seventeen:**_ _This was the most personal of all the trigger words. Seventeen symbolised the year 1917. This also happened to be the year that Bucky was born_

 _ **Daybreak:**_ _Although this trigger word didn't really have any real personal significance for Bucky, it was chosen to symbolise the start of Bucky's new dawn into his life as The Winter Soldier_

 _ **Furnace:**_ _This word was added as a command to encourage the warming up phase of Bucky's new awakening, also symbolising his arrival into the fiery gates of Hell as he slowly became the winter soldier_

 _ **Nine:**_ _This was another link to Bucky's date of birth. The second number in the year of his birth_

 _ **Benign:**_ This was the most ironic of the trigger word designed to control Bucky. Typically the word was associated with harmless kind traits that an obvious assassin wouldn't possess. Benign was to resemble the state of mind that began to prime Bucky for the final phase of his transformation

 _ **Homecoming:**_ The symbolism behind this was to represent Bucky's ultimate wish of a dream that would now never become a reality. It was also another symbol that he was "coming home" now to his rebirth as the winter soldier

 _ **One**_ : _This was chosen to represent that Bucky was now destined to be one of a kind. He would be the first Winter Soldier and be the first unique weapon in HYDRA's arsenal that would further push them into world domination_

 _ **Freight car:**_ _The final trigger word was the most significant to Bucky. This was to create a permanent reminder of the train car that he fell from prior to his capture by HYDRA_

"ready to comply..." said Bucky slowly as he heard Zola speak those all to familiar words once one. Just as before, Bucky sat almost Robotic like in the chair and stared aimlessly out in front of him. Here in body only but nothing else "Sir?"

"Asset...you are making good progress but I wish to enhance your fighting skills even further...here...take this" he handed Bucky a small silver dagger, yet still Bucky blankly looked out in front of him as he slowly raised his hand and took it from him "next door I want to you fight all the men in that room ...your mission is to take them out in the quickest way possible...can you do this Asset?"

"yes...I will finish them all off..."

Zola got to his feet and took Bucky's metallic arm within his own and led him to a large warehouse style room not far from the office. Saying nothing, Bucky could see that there stood in front of him was four of the biggest guards that had been assigned to various parts of the compound. Each man had to have been at least 6ft fall and well over 200lbs. Each man began aiming daggers at Bucky that was piercing deep into his soul. Bucky remained silent throughout the standoff and reached into his pocket for the knife that Zola had given him. He raised it up and spun it several times through his fingers. Slowly he turned to Zola and then back to the intimidating men in front of him...

"Now Asset...do as I ask..'

In that frozen second between the stand off, Bucky could see their eyes flicker from the floor and to them. Their faces were unreadable, no fear throughout as two of them edged closer to Bucky. The first man aimed a punch straight to Bucky's jaw but thankfully his new enhanced reflexes kicked in immediately and he was able to block the blow. Instantly, Bucky then grabbed the man by the arm and twisted it hard behind the guards back. The guard cried out in agony as he knew that Bucky was close to actually breaking his arm in the process. The man desperately reached our for Bucky other free arm but again, the blow was blocked and Bucky grabbed the man by the hair, bringing his face in direct contact with his knee cap. The first guard fell to the floor unconscious and in a heap at Bucky's feet. Still sporting an emotionless stare, Bucky merely stepped over the fallen msn and aimed several more hard punches in the direction the second guard edging closer to him. There was soon an intense battle of wits between them both but it was obvious by far that Bucky was without a doubt the strongest of the two. Determined to finish this once and for all, he clenched the long cold fingers on his metallic hand into a ball and punched the guard continuously in the face for several long minutes. Blood began pouring from the man's nose now as once Bucky released him from his tight grasp and watched as his crumbled body dropped to the floor...

"good...good Asset.. " smirked Zola literally rubbing his hands together at the sight of the two fallen guards in front of him "2 down... 2 to go"

With 2 guards now left, they decided this time to try a different tactic and chose to run straight at Bucky together and at the same time. Just as before, Bucky's new lightning reflexes kicked in and he caught them both within seconds of each other with his knife straight across their cheeks. Then men both stumbled backwards and were both so disoriented, they failed to block Bucky's kicks aimed at their stomachs in quick unison. Bucky soon grabbed the younger of the men by the hair and hurled him across the room. The other guards eyes widened in fear, as Bucky grabbed his head in his hands and lifted him up off the floor. The man cried out in Agony but fighting back was useless now as Bucky just tossed him across the room and continued to stand almost robotic like as he stared in the distance over the bodies of the four fallen men...

"Well done... Asset I am amazed at what you have learned already" cried Zola, clapping his hands almost child-like as he praised the chaos he'd just witnessed in front of him "you're making fast progress already..."

Zola stood almost like a proud parent as he watched Bucky led back to the cryo pod. At long last he had control...his winter soldier was within touching distance of becoming a reality...


	18. Part 17

_**Phase 2 complete...**_

 _ **One year later...**_

Phase 2 of the Winter Soldier program concerned Bucky being trained even further into becoming the ultimate assassin for HYDRA. As the months went by and every day once he was awoken from the cryo freeze, Bucky was taken by several armed guards to the training room. This was huge warehouse like space that was hidden deep below ground at the compound. Once he was there and those trigger words were uttered, Bucky was back once again fully under the control of Zola and his team. With them now having control of his mind, he was forced to fight some of the strongest and biggest warriors that Hydra had to offer. Another effect of the serum Bucky been injected with was that he had developed what called "accelerated development process". This new trait delighted Zola even more and with this he knew Bucky was well on the way to becoming "The Winter Soldier". Zola would watch in awe during the training sessions, as it was plain to see Bucky constantly analysing the fight pattern of those he fort and how quickly he picked up on their fighting style with ease. Often mirroring it and knowing instantly where they were going to aim next, blocking the blow and soon retaliating back with even More devastating force. These training sessions happened everyday once he was awoken from stasis and would last up 8 hours a day. As time went on the number of men Bucky took on in this sessions increased daily also and after a year, he was able to take out at least 8 men or sometimes even more single handed. He would stand triumphantly over the pile of their broken injured bodies and just stare out into the distance with that robotic like emotionless stare that had become a constant look for him now.

Each training session would focus on a skill set that Zola wished his winter Soldier to possess. Thanks to the accelerated developmental process, Bucky quickly picked up every style with ease and soon became a deadly force within the training room. In the space of just a year, he'd already become a master of hand to hand intense combat. He'd picked up deadly skills in martial arts that was no match for any of the guards that he took on. He was also taken to the firing range daily and skilled in the use of various military weapons. Just like everything else and thanks to his accelerated development process, he soon hit the target acquired with devastating accuracy. Bucky had also had developed high skills with a knife and just how he was with a gun, was able to use this with intense dangerous effect.

With the frequent visits still going on between the cryo stasis pod and the mind wipes still continuing, Bucky was now officially broken. Every last element of his former life had well and truly been erased once and for all. He'd lost all link and connection to his past now, becoming nothing more than an emotionless empty void. The smiley handsome charming solider of the past was long gone now. Gone was the man who was full of hope, confidence and constantly dreamt for a bright future. This wasn't the James Buchanan Barnes of the past standing here, that man was long gone...gone forever

Bucky's physically appearance had altered drastically too over the past year. His hair had grown to shoulder length and was greasy, unkempt. He had full stubble on the lower part of his jaw and his eyes had sunk even deeper into the sockets at a drastic rate, aging his face beyond his years. The rest of his body on the other hand was at the peak of physical perfection now. His muscle mass had literally doubled and this could be seen instantly if you just looked his chest size and that of his arm. Seeing this alone gave you an instant delve into his strength and inner power that he now possessed. That alone was undeniable and another indication how he had changed so much from the Bucky Barnes of old.

With constant work being applied to his metal arm, this soon created yet another deadly weapon in his already highly skilled arsenal. Creating another tool to the highest level of weaponised technology known to man. Although Bucky was deadly and highly skilled in the training room, he hadn't actually killed anyone yet. This was the most important aspect required of him becoming the winter soldier. Whenever he went out on a mission, it was essential that he would have the kill on command and remain emotionless throughout any mission asked of him. He needed to not show even the very slightest ounce of remorse at ending a life. Zola had put off seeing if he could kill on command over the last few weeks but judging by how well Bucky had been progressing in his training over the past few months, there was no time like the present to try. Rubbing his hands in glee, he ordered Bucky to instantly bought to him once he was awoken from stasis... If Bucky could kill on command then the process was complete...

"ready to comply..." cried Bucky after hearing Zola say the last of his trigger words, his face full of no emotion and nothing more than a blank canvas "mission?"

"Asset... Your training is complete. There is one last thing that i require you to do.. " Zola clapped his hands and within seconds, two guards headed over to them a smaller man in their grasp.

The man was sobbing and begging for Mercy. Showing none, the guards hurled him at Bucky's feet. The man, seemed to be speaking French and continued to beg for his life as he pulled at Bucky's leg. Owing to an implant Zola had placed in his head, Bucky was also fluent in several languages and knew he was saying to him but Still Bucky stood emotionless and blank. Not acknowledging the petrified man in front of him

"Mission?"

"Asset...This man has caused me nothing but problems... I wish you to end his life...I need him terminated... Can you comply asset?. Can you kill this man? " asked Zola, a full on slimy smirk spread over his lips "can you?"

"S'il vous plait ne me fait pas mal" cried the Frenchman, begging for his life in his native tongue "laisse-moi vivre!"

"yes..."

Bucky now spoke with an icy coldness that he'd never used before. He grabbed at the terrified man with his metal hand by the throat and squeezed tight. The man's eyes literally were bursting out of his head right now as he desperately struggled for breath. Coughing furiously the man tried to worm out of Bucky's lock on him and the vice like grip he had on his throat. Every muscle of the man's body seized up as Bucky squeezed even tighter. Still staring unremorsefully deep into the man's soul as he lifted him off his feet and up several inches off the floor, into the air.

"finish him off Soldier..." cried Zola panicking the Bucky was stalling "Now...KILL HIM..."

Within seconds, Bucky twisted the man's neck at a dangerous angle and snapped it violently. The man was instantly killed and his broken body fell to the floor in a crumpled heap as he was released from Bucky's grasp. There absolutely no sign of regret or remorse in Bucky's face as he stood over the fallen man. He merely just took his place next Zola and continued to stare blankly out into the distance. He was given an order and it was his duty to see it through. His mission complete.

Zola was delighted at this result. Slowly he turned to face Bucky and placed both of his hands on Bucky's shoulders. This was it, this was the moment he'd dreamed of ever since he first designed the winter soldier program several years ago now. He'd created the world's newest deadly assassin that he was now a hundred percent convinced was ready to be unleashed on the world. The fact that Bucky had killed the Frenchman in cold blood like this, further cemented itself in his head that the program was now a reality. Sgt James Buchanan Barnes was officially Dead...Standing opposite him now was something signalling the start of a terrifying new era for HYDRA...the ultimate weapon in their quest for world domination... _**The winter soldier had arrived...**_


	19. Part 18

_**The Winter Soldiers first mission...**_

Zola well and truly believed now that his Winter Soldier had at long last become a reality. After seeing how brutal and ruthless Bucky had become and at how he showed a complete lack of conscience in combat, Zola decided that he was more than ready for his first mission. The plan was that he would still remain in the cryogenic stasis pod and only be thawed out when he'd be required to complete various missions asked of him. With the intense electricity therapy sessions still going on and along with his frequent training still happening back at the compound, Bucky had grown dangerously unstable now and wasn't one to be messed with that was for sure. His violent brutality was deadly to anyone who he had the misfortune to run into, leaving nothing but a devastating trail of chaos and destruction in his wake. Bucky's mental state was so fragile and unpredictable now that he instantly would turn violent at the drop of a hat. Anger flew through his veins and had taken out all the love and goodness that was once in his heart. It was like he was a completely different person from the James Buchanan Barnes of the past. Bucky Barnes was officially dead and the Winter soldier had now arrived, ready to cement his place in history.

To aid him on the mission, Hydra had designed a special uniform for the winter soldier to wear. It was complete black in colour to help him blend into the shadows, but his metal arm would still be clearly visible. The lightweight suit would provide resistance against small firearms and had also advanced flexibility to aid him in close combat when he needed it. In addition he was given bullet proof tinted goggles to conceal his face and to protect his eyes. A half mask covering his mouth was also added to his look, this was a further attempt to conceal his true identity from the world and add even more mystery surrounding who the Winter Soldier truly was...

Zola also added other personal touches to the uniform. These were put in place so that Bucky would be reminded even further of what he was now and at how less human he had become. The outfit was designed that it was completely impossible for Bucky to put it on himself. The real opening to it was at the back and this meant that even with his metal arm it was difficult to reach without support. The only way that Bucky could wear the uniform was if he was buckled into it by his assigned handlers. This was just the another way to humiliate him further and remind him of his subservience. Further drumming into him that without HYDRA he couldn't do anything for himself. He wasn't a human now. He'd lost that trait that moment they found him after that fall from the train. Zola watched as Bucky stood there completely emotionless and robotic like as he was prepared for the mission. His handlers locking him into his uniform and pulling at the straps on the front, adjusting it slightly and pulling it even closer to his chest. They handed him the mask and he was able to put it on with ease, concealing the lower half of his jaw as the long locks of hair covered part of his eyes. Soon, 2 more guards entered the room and headed over to the Winter Soldier with several small bundles of a mixed arsenal of weaponry in their hands. He was next handed a long black leather belt that was complete with several small gas canisters. The winter Soldier quickly attached the band to his waist and instantly began to check that the grenades within it were safely in place. With this done he was next given several small combat knives and a large firearm. The soldier spun the knives through his fingers before slipping them slowly also into his belt. Taking the gun in his metal hand, he loaded it with some bullets from his pocket and placed this over his shoulder. With the look now complete, Zola they looked on like a proud parent at his Winter Soldier standing in front of him. After years of planning the moment has finally arrived. The Winter Soldier was here and was ready to be Unleashed on the world. His work in Zola's eyes now, would be a gift to mankind...

" you are ready soldier..." Cried Zola, literally beaming from ear to ear proudly " your first mission is to eliminate a threat to us and HYDRA'S plans. This individual has been nothing more than a thorn in our side for months...we need him taken care off...no witnesses... You have 48 hours Soldier...understand?"

Saying nothing yet still expressive as ever, The winter Soldier only nodded and pulled at the glove of his good hand...ready to comply

Within a day, The Winter Soldier along with his support team, eventually found themselves in England and ready for the start of the assigned mission. The full mission objective involved the assassination of a secret British intelligence agent who had been planning for months to infiltrate HYDRA and bring about their downfall. The agent had collected many different forms of evidence against them since the start of the war and was waiting for just the right moment to finally bring them down once and for all. HYDRA got word almost immediately of what he was planning and Zola knew this was no better time and situation for him go test out his new weapon.

It was little after midnight when the assassination squad arrived at the agents house. The house was small and it was at least a good hour drive away from the nearest town. For Agent "Stephen Blackman" this suited him down to the ground. An agent for nearly 20 years, the quiet life and tranquillity of the house was the comfort he constantly craved and long for in his illustrious career. After tucking his young son into bed, Stephen soon joined his wife in the master bedroom and prepared bed himself. Little did he know of the impending arrival of the Winter Soldier and his deadly team of skilled trained assassins gearing up to ambush his home.

After sending his team up to the roof, the Winter Soldier crept to the rear of the house almost catlike as he blended even further into the shadows. He managed to locate the backdoor and kicked it in with immense ease with his leather boot. The door instantly swung open and at last he had entry, time for him to complete his first mission. Reaching for his gun over his shoulder, the winter soldier took aim in front of him and began to scan the eerie silent darkness of the shadows. At first it took him several minutes to adjust to the darkness of the house. He could make out nothing but only the dark lumps of furniture that filled the hallway and led to the grand wooden oak staircase that led up to the second level of the house. With his firearm still raised, he took one step at a time and only pausing briefly as it creaked under the heavy weight of his huge frame...

Agent Blackman's wife had always been a light sleeper and immediately woke up with a start as she heard the impending footsteps creaking up the staircase. Her eyes widened with a deep fear, she sat up fast with her heart besting furiously in her chest as the realisation hit her that someone had invaded their home

"Stephen?... Stephen?" she reached over and shook her sleeping husband's shoulder several times "wake up...someone's in the house...listen.." her voice shook trembling furiously as deep terror took hold "Stephen...someone's here..."

"im awake...I'm up...what is It Karen?" Sighed the yawning agent, stretching his arms "what's the matter?"

"listen...someone's in the house.."


	20. Part 19

_**Remembering the past...**_

Agent Blackman immediately sat up and just like his wife had moments earlier, could hear approaching footsteps from directly outside the bedroom. With his training, he knew that whatever it was outside was large and most probably heavily armed. The footsteps grew louder and whoever it was was now directly outside the door. He turned to his wife and could see deep unprecedented fear in her eyes as she clasped her hands over her mouth. When she married him, she knew of the dangers that come with his job but now they had a young son. Keeping him safe was her number one priority...

"Karen, its OK.." Agent Blackman held her head in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumb. Gently he kissed her softly on the forehead "just go get David honey...I'll see what it is...everything will be fine"

Luckily, the boy's room was only next door and was accessible via an adjoining door. With his wife gone, Agent Blackman slipped out of bed and reached into a nearby bedside cabinet. This was where he always kept a small pistol that he told his wife was for "safety purposes only". Grabbing the pistol tight, he slowly pulled the trigger and aimed it in the direction of the bedroom door. Edging closer, he had one hand on the gun and his free hand reached for the door handle. He managed to open it ajar and it slowly opened further, creaking eerily in the process. Growing frustrated, he kicked the door open and much to his surprise, nothing was there only the sound of silence and the purring of the family cat curling itself round his feet. Breathing a sigh of relief, he lowered the gun and dropped down to give the playful cat a gentle stroke

"its OK Karen... There's nothing there its just the... "

Unable to finish his sentence, Agent Blackman soon felt his head dangerously being pulled backwards and crash heavily against the bedroom door. He dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap, winded and struggling to breathe. Looking up slowly, his eyes immediately caught sight of the dark shadowy figure emerging from the shadows in front of him. The man was tall, dressed all in black and stood staring at him with a deeply hypnotic yet expressionless look on his face. His lower jaw was covered in a mask and on first glance he looked truly intimidating and terrifying to say the least.

"KAREN RUN!"

Agent Blackman could do nothing as the Winter Soldier soon grabbed him with his metal hand and began to choke him out. He desperately reached out for the mans mask and somehow miraculously managed to pull it from his face. This disoriented the soldier slightly and he soon released the man from his tight grip. Coughing furiously and still struggling to breathe, Agent Blackman began to desperately claw on all fours back to the safety of the bedroom. He called out to his wife several times but was soon hit by several shots at the back of his calf. More gunfire skimmed past his head and one hit him twice on his lower back. Not giving up, Agent Blackman clawed at the floor and quickly was greeted by his wife sobbing. She took him in her arms and cradled his head in her lap

"Karen...take David... Get out... " he struggled to speak knowing his life was edging away with the blood pouring from his back. "I. Love you.."

His wife sobbed heartbroken as her beloved husband and the love of her life slipped away in her arms. As her damp tears dropped from her glistening eyes and onto her husbands body, she looked up and was met by the menacing piercing eyes of The Winter Soldier. Refusing to listen to her pleas, he raised his rifle and aimed it right at the centre of her forehead. The woman's desperate sobs provoked no emotion whatsoever from the soldier. She closed her eyes, panted furiously and clung even tighter onto her husbands body. Craving every source of comfort as here she was staring death in the face. Tears streamed from her eyes even more now as she waited for the inevitable to happen...slowly he took aim and pulled the trigger...ready to fire

"MUMMY...MUMMY...WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

The tension was immediately broken up by the arrival of the couples young son who had fled the safety of his room to see what all the commotion had been about. The youngster must have been about 5 years old and had dark brown hair with brown eyes. The boy ran immediately into the safety of his mother's arms and into the comfort of her warm reassuring embrace. Trying to be strong for them both, she cupped the little boys face and gently began to tuck a sole lock of hair behind his ear.

Within seconds the boys arrival had ignited something deep from within the Winter Soldier. After catching the boys eye, he turned his head instantly and began clutching the side of his head as a sharp pain flew through his brain. Viciously attacking every nerve to the depth of his core. The confused soldier lost his grip on his gun and continued to grasp his head in his hands as he desperately fort to gain control over what the hell was happening to him. A image from his past soon began to emerge from the fog deep within his mind. He could see a similar looking boy to the one currently standing front of him but he didn't recognise who the mystery child in his head was. Still clutching at his head in agony, he threw himself into the nearby wall and was desperate to gain control over these images that were replaying in his head. Another image of the boy began to appear in his mind. This time the boy was smiling proudly and wearing a military hat that was obviously miles to big for him. He was so happy to be wearing it and was saluting proudly..

"Its going to be OK David.." cried the mother softly, being as reassuringly gentle as she could "you're a brave boy David... "

 _ **At the mothers words, the Winter Soldier soon found himself hurtling back towards another memory of his past. He had little to no idea about anything had gone on previously in his life but as the flashback continued he could see a different version of himself lying in a bed. A thunderstorm seemed to be going on outside but just as the man was just about to drift off to sleep, he heard his bedroom door slowly creek open. Turning over, he smiled at the little brown haired brown eyed little boy looking back at him..**_

 _ **"hey little man, what's the matter?" The man in the bed asked softly to the youngster "you OK?"**_

 _ **"Uncle Bucky...can I sleep in your bed tonight please? I'm scared of the thunder...is it going to get me? I don't like it Uncle Bucky... Make it go away"**_

 _ **"ah Buddy... Course you can... Come here little guy.."**_

 _ **Gently he pulled open the duvet and ushered his young nephew in her arms. The boy pressed himself close to his favourite uncle and clutched tight at his beloved teddy bear. Kissing his head, the man wrapped his arm protectively around him and took his tiny hand in his own. From the moment he was Born, Bucky never thought he could love anything as much as he did with his young nephew. He wept tears of joy when his sister bought Baby David home from the hospital 5 years ago and he held him protectively in his arms for the first time. He made solemn promise to be there for the boy constantly through his life. This could be seen at how close the pair were with Rebecca Barnes constantly teasing her big brother that he was pretty much after her job as David's mother at times**_

 _ **"Is the thunder going to hit the house and get us?" cried little David as he gripped even tighter onto his uncles hand as a huge clasp of thunder directly over the house shook the walls "im scared Uncle Bucky.. I'm so scared.. "**_

 _ **"listen to me pal, everything's going to be fine. I'll never let the thunder hurt you Buddy.. As long as I'm here you're safe trust me" he smiled kissing the trembling boy on the head "you're braver then you think David Henry Barnes...now try get some sleep.. I'll be right here..always I promise.. Just like Grandpa always tells me when I have to go away...I'm with you till the end of line...you're a brave boy David...I love you buddy"**_

 _ **"love you Uncle Bucky. Night.."**_

As the powerful flashback soon faded from his mind, the Winter Soldier struggled to breathe as the images of the little boy in his dream had overwhelmed him. He clutched at his chest as his heart pounded furiously in his chest. Slowly, he raised his metal hand up to the Wall, to steady his balance. His back pressed against the wall but moments later he slowly slid down and ended up sitting on the floor. What was that dream? What did it mean? Who was the boy and why did the winter solider feel like he had some connection to him? It was like hearing the mother speak those words had triggered something in his soul. Was it some kind of hallucination? Or some kind of vision? Clutching his head again, this really was too much to take and his head was full of so many unanswered questions at the meaning behind who the boy in the vision was...

Snapping back to reality The Winter Solider quickly got to his feet and reached once again for his gun. Panting furiously he aimed the trigger over at the terrified mother and son clinging together in deep fear ahead of him. His hand shook furiously and several times he had to turn away from the pair as images of the boy from his dream still were firmly etched in his mind. Full of Rage he lowered the gun and turned his attention to furniture in the room. He smashed several mirrors on the wall and kicked out at several cabinets that were close by. He knew he had a mission to complete but something within him was stopping it. Gritting his teeth he raised the gun more and aimed it back at the terrified mother and son. Slowly he pulled the trigger back ready to release but once again he caught sight of the little boy clinging tightly onto his mother's waist as the body of his dead father was still on the floor

" I'm sorry... I can't do this..." whispered the Winter Soldier silently to himself " I can't do this... I just can't do it... this isn't me... I'm not killer"

Saying nothing the Winter Soldier slipped quietly outside the room but was soon met by the other members of his assassination team. They had found a way in from the roof and were desperately waiting for instruction from the Winter Soldier so that they could complete the mission. After hearing nothing they headed back down to the bedroom to see what was going on. After hearing hardly no gunfire whatsoever, they had drawn to the conclusion that something was wrong and something that happened to prevent the mission from being complete. After being told that there should be no witnesses, the team were fuming to see the mother still alive and that the Winter Soldier was leaving.

"where the hell are you going Asset? We have a mission remember.. We need to complete it..." cried one of the team, pressing the riffle deep into the soldiers chest " you can't leave now..."

"David...that boy... I can't. I can't do it" rambled The Winter Soldier shaking his head furiously " I knew him... the boy in my dream I knew him...David"

Hearing enough, the team leader nodded to another guard and took a step backwards. The guard raised his riffle and hit The winter Soldier several times with the butt end straight across his face. The winter soldier was knocked out instantly and collapsed on the floor in a crumpled heap. Just to make sure that he was well and truly out of it, the team kicked at his back furiously with there boots and various riffles. With the Winter Soldier now unconscious, two of the team grabbed at his shoulders and dragged him back downstairs to their awaiting truck parked outside..

"We'll take him back to base ..they can deal with him... I'm not picking up for his mistakes.. come on we've got a mission to finish.."

Outside the two team members hurled the unconscious soldier into the back of the truck. His body rolled over several times before coming to a stop. Just as they closed the rear of the truck, rapid gunfire could be heard from the house as well as several piercing screams. This could only mean one thing... _ **mission complete**_


	21. Part 20

_**The past will always be there..**_

After hearing about the failure of his Winter Soldier, Zola was furious more than ever with his creation. He'd put so much time and effort into this and he wasn't ready to give up just yet. Maybe he truly underestimated the resistance of Bucky's mind as he strived to control him. Even after all the intense painful electrical therapy sessions and increased levels added to the super serum doses, he was still resisting and Zola still didn't have full control. Looking back, maybe he was a little eager at pushing his asset for that first mission. He was just so sure he was ready. The soldiers intensity in the training room and his devastating brutality was proof enough that he was ready for that first task. Yet why had this happened? What had triggered him to go off the rails like that? Who was this David that the asset spoke of? And why had this name cause him to panic like you did during the mission? So many unanswered questions that he needed answering and answering now

Sitting at the desk of his dimly lit office, Zola reached into a nearby draw and pulled out the file of one " _ **James Buchanan Barnes"**_. Shuffling through the papers, he soon found a sheet of paper dedicated to Bucky's personal details and that of his family. He ran his finger over the names of Bucky's various family members and soon came to a stop at the name _**"David Henry Barnes"**_. On closer inspection he saw that this was actually the name of Bucky's nephew. At least this solved that mystery of who David was but it's still didn't bring him any closer to finding out why this name had triggered his memories like it had. Letting out a deep sigh as he bought his hand to his nose, Zola decided all that he could do was up the voltage with the mind wipe machine and just continue to monitor his brain functions for the next few months. This was no way over and done with yet. He wasn't giving up on the program and it WOULD be reality. He was creating the greatest kill machine to grace mankind. This was just one small insignificant stumbling block..

"Sir...they're back"

Lifting his head up, Zola was soon met by the nervous sweating gaze of his assistant. The team had now arrived at the compound ready for mission de-briefing. Heading to the door, Zola knew that there was no time like the present to talk to Bucky and find out from his point of view what had happened. Telling his assistant to prepare the therapy machine immediately, he headed out the office and was soon met by his winter soldier with his handlers in the hallway already ready to take Bucky straight back to the Cryo freeze.

"well Asset... Mission report?" Zola folded his arms over his chest as Bucky's face dropped to the floor, he bit his lower lip and almost looked like he was going to burst into tears. His expression was almost child-like, almost like he was being told off by an angry parent. Slowly, Bucky raised his head and caught sight of the mind wipe machine being prepared in the distance. Immediately his eyes widened in deep fear and he struggled to breathe "well...answer me asset?"

"that boy... His name was David" Tears began to glisten in those immensely deeply pained eyes and slowly fall onto his cheek. This was the first time in months that he'd actually shown any aspect of human emotion "David? Why do I feel like I know that name? I saw a boy in my head...he was smiling and hugging me...I knew that boy...how do I know him? "

"it was just a glitch in your programming asset" inside Zola was panicking at this realization. Bucky was still holding onto his memories somehow "a virus has effected you...the glitch will be repaired immediately..."

"but I felt a connection to the boy in my head...there's a link between him and me...I knew him...that boy in my head is David... I know it...I'm sure of it" cried Bucky, there was that exact same pain in his head that he had during the mission. He grasped his head in his hands and dropped forward, crying out in agony. He shook his head furiously even more confused than ever "I know him somehow... I knew him.."

Zola listened intently as Bucky recalled yet another memory from his past. This memory was of the same boy from his head at some kind of sports day. The boy was running fast as his legs could take him and quickly overtook the other runners with ease. He crossed the finishing line into the warm embrace of someone who oddly looked like a younger version of Bucky. The dream Bucky, lifted the boy up proudly up in the air and kissed him on the cheek. Soon the happy image began to vanish into the clouded foggy mass of his mind. Growing even more confused at what the memory was telling him and feeling his anxiety levels rise, Bucky lashed out at the handlers by his side and caught one straight across the mouth with his metal arm. What was these memories? Who was that boy? Were these indeed hidden links to his past?

"it was just a technical glitch..." Trying his best to reassure him and hope that they were no more memories triggered "its nothing but a virus... That's all...just a virus that we will destroy.. "

"No, this is much more...it was like this was a memory. A memory from the past...my past" cried Bucky, there was a hint of defiance in words as he desperately tried to get his point across "that doctor...that doctor was right...these are my memories... Memories you took from me...these are memories from my past...David... I know who David is now...he was my..."

Cutting him off, Zola gave the nod and a guard immediately hit Bucky in back with an electrical current that caused him to fall to the floor. After getting another nod from Zola, the guard hit him several more times and Bucky's body shook furiously on the dampness of the floor below. Zola watched emotionless as Bucky was immediately dragged back to the machine and a quick bout of therapy began. Bucky's screams in agony soon filled the room as the electrical current hit every nerve in his brain and passed tnrough his body as he clung onto the seat he was strapped Into

"Ricci...Ricci did something to him" cried Zola feeling his blood boil. His mind cast back to the immense kindness the doctor showed Bucky. He knew he helped Bucky try and escape that day but never did it cross His mind that he'd do something like this. Even more furious, Zola turned to his assistant and glared through him "let me ask him the questions once the therapy is done then take him back to the stasis pod...this will give me time to fix this mess and see what else Ricci did to his brain... I should have expected him to do something like this..."

After seeing that the therapy session was over, Zola headed back over to the mind wipe machine and stood in front of his asset. As sweat and tears covered Bucky's face, he struggled for breath and slowly managed to raise his head up at his creator. During every therapy session, Bucky was always strapped up to a machine that would monitor his brain functions and his nerve reactions. As Zola studied the screen, he could indeed see the program that Doctor Ricci had added. He tapped the keyboard furiously as he desperately tried every time to override the programming but time and time again he was denied access. Even more furious than ever, he picked the computer screen up and hurled it across the room. Thanks to the long dead kind Doctor there was nothing he could do now. Bucky's memories would still be there permanently now regardless. He'd never truly be able to erase his past fully now and therefore never have full control of Bucky's mind completely. The only thing he could do was keep him in the cryogenic pod and only thaw him out when they needed him. Then give him a high dose of electricity from the mind wipe machine before and after any mission they planned to send him on. He hoped that the program of having him remember every mission and kill he'd be sent on would drown out those links to his past somehow...

"Asset? I have a question for you and I command you to answer OK?" cried Zola, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo of a child. The child was about 5 or 6 years old. On immediate glance he similar blue eyes to Bucky and was grinning at the camera with the military hat resting at one side on his Head. This was infact a photograph of young David Barnes that he managed to his hands somehow. Bucky's sole nephew and the one person he loved more them anything in the world "Do you know this boy asset?.. Take the picture... Do you know who he is? Answer me asset "

With his hands still trembling heavily, Bucky reached for the photo of the boy and bought it closer to his gaze. That blank emotionless stare was back now as he stared intently at the photo with his piercing blue eyes. He ran his fingers over the face of the boy but there was nothing, no connection, no attachment...just nothing. At this moment in time he had no idea who he was anymore now let alone who the mysterious little boy was?. Saying nothing Bucky continued to stare blankly out into the distance of the warehouse in front of him and the mass of handlers, doctors and guards surrounding him. Slowly his gaze fell back down at the photograph in his hand. Returning to stare blankly out into the distance, he merely crumpled the photo of the boy into a ball in his metallic hand and dropped it to the damp dark wet floor below his feet...

"excellent Asset...Just what I was hoping that would do" beamed Zola proudly "now...take him to the stasis pod until I can figure out our next move"


	22. Part 21

_**Mission Briefing..5 months later**_

Whenever he was placed in the Cryogenic booth, Bucky would feel the darkness overwhelm him instantly. It was like a blanket, but not a blanket of warm but a blanket of coldness making him shiver constantly. As the booth was frozen shut, his eyes would start to feel heavier and heavier within seconds. Those eyes finally allowing him to drift off to that dreamless sleep that was now his life...

His latest stint had been for 5 months now and as he lay there deep within his frozen tomb, he was blissfully aware of what was being planned for him on the outside. After making frequent adjustments to his machine, Zola increased the power supply even further and added several new programs to the computers that were linked directly to Bucky's mind. He also created a new batch of the super serum, with him increasing the dosage and the consistency of the chemicals used. Zola still believed deep in his heart that his soldier was ready. He hope that with these adjustments in place, the failure of the previous mission would be nothing more than a distant memory now. The ambitious doctor had complete faith in his Winter Soldier. Faith enough to try one more time to send him out on his first successful mission once and for all.

Nodding to his assistant, the pod was soon thawed out and as the ice melted away Bucky's face soon became visible from the tiny window at the front of the door. Slowly the door was opened and Bucky's partly unconscious body fell into the arms of his awaiting handlers outside. As they had him up by his arms, his eyes were wide his dreams and memories long erased now. Aside from his own breath there was nothing to be heard from anything around him but the eerie silence surrounding the room. Waking up for a normal person would be harsh in any context. Especially if those dreams were better than reality. Yet for Bucky Barnes, he didn't dream anymore and this was his reality. Thanks to Zola he was left with this lonely feeling of detachment, left alone to explore the empty void of emotions in his mind and now destined to never know the true memories and connections of his past forever..

Deciding to take no chances, especially after what happened last time, it was decided that Bucky would receive one last bout of electrical therapy before they prepared him for the mission. Therefore clearing his mind and allowing him to focus on the task in hand. Zola stood completely emotionless as Bucky wasn't even given a chance to catch his breath and was immediately dragged over to the machine in the opposite corner of the room. Still disoriented from emerging from the cryogenic pod, his energy had all but vanished now. Resistance was futile now as his body was locked into place on the chair and within seconds his head became encased in that now all too familiar vice above his head. High intense levels of electricity passed through his body and Bucky's piercing screams echoed through the room as those trigger words began to be said by one of his handlers close by, circling the machine as they spoke...

" _ **longing**_... _ **rusted**_... _**Furnace...daybreak"**_ The handler called out continuing to circle the desperate man. Throughout Bucky's screams in agony continued, hitting every nerve and muscle in his body. His body shook furiously as he clung desperately onto the armrests, almost pulling them off in the process **"seventeen...Benign.."** slowly the power was decreased and Bucky's body started to relax as he could feel himself slip into that hypnotic trance that gave Zola control " ** _nine...homecoming... One...FREIGHTCAR_** "

With the last of trigger words uttered, Bucky's body language changed instantly. It was like he took on a whole different persona all together. His whole face and posture instantly changed. He's eyes in particular were expressive more than ever. Those hypnotic piercing eyes giving off glare that was freezing the souls of everyone around him. Every piece of that emotionless icy dagger like stare cutting deep into their soul. Saying nothing, he was quickly released from his bonds and slowly got to his feet. Every muscle and his face was tense. Without saying a word you could instantly feel the deep intense rage within and those dangerous levels of being unstable that he bought with him. Slowly the Winter Soldier scanned the room, with several of his handlers already reaching for the Tasers and weapons ready to subdue him if the moment arose. It was at that moment the soldier caught the eye of his creator in the front of the group. Zola began to smirk arrogantly in triumph. Just a small pouting of his lips, a narrowing of the eyes and a tilting of his head. He raised his hands to usher the handlers to lower their weapons. Slowly he paced towards his weapon deep pride filling his face and eyes...

"tell me your name asset?" Zola asked. Once again there was no response. For the presence The Winter Soldier brought to the room it was almost robotic like. It wasn't a man standing in front of him right now. This was nothing more than a weapon, a machine and it was actually finally a reality. The winter soldier was here "you are ready my winter soldier..."

"mission?... " the soldier uttered. His voice flat and disembodied. Almost dead like, giving a further indication that James Buchanan Barnes was long gone now "ready to comply.. "

As the winter soldier was prepared into his uniform by the handlers, Zola began to give him a full briefing of what his mission indeed was. In several days time, in Washington, there was to be a huge gala held in Honour of an upcoming peace conference later in the week. The Gala was arranged by the president and would have many of the world's leaders all together in one place. Zola wanted his weapon to be Unleashed on the world in the biggest most devastating way possible. What better way possible than an event heavily attended like this...

"Your team will join you and I want you to create as much chaos as possible... this is your main target asset" he handed the Winter Soldier a photo of the vice president of the United States of America. The vice president was one of the key people involved in the organising of the gala. With his Winter Soldier being an American himself, Zola hoped that killing and fellow citizen would be the greatest insult to him and the country of his birth " take as many people out as possible... you understand me asset?" he handed the soldier his mask, which he took within his metallic hand and quickly attached to his face. One of the handlers handed him a gun and within seconds his training kicked in and he loaded it with bullets with ease. The remaining handlers began to pull at the straps of his uniform and pulled it tight to his chest, restricting his breathing slightly "you have 48 hours... Then after that return here for mission debriefing. Don't let me down Asset..."


	23. Part 22

_**Mission complete**_

The Gala was being held and a beautiful old Victorian building not far from the centre of town. There would be various different forms of entertainment to keep the guests amused and would end with a delicious 5 course meal prepared for by the greatest chefs in the city. It was a warm summer evening and as the clock struck 8pm on the town hall opposite, grand limousines and other huge governmental cars began to start to pull up outside. With so many governmental delegates in one place, security was extra tight for tonight's proceedings. With every car pulling into the drive, they were soon met by a barrage of bodyguards before having to go through strenuous checks from more security before being ushered inside.

With the cars arriving at an increased speed now, the presence of security began to grow. The bodyguards scanned in the area constantly and began checking every single person thoroughly before allowing them entry into the building. Unbeknownst to the awaiting security, the Winter Soldier and his team had infiltrated the building already and were planning their moment to strike. Several were disguised as waiters ready to pounce during the dinner, while others were scattered at various areas in the building and on the surrounding rooftops nearby. The dinner part of the Gala was held in the garden area at the rear of the building. A beautiful grassy space lit with candles and torches burning brightly as the moon shone above their heads. The area was filled with tables for each of the delegates to sit in groups and at the front was a plinth all set up ready for the vice president to give his speech. Behind him several screens had been set up to show images and news from the upcoming peace conference.

With all that in place, a ghostly figure dressed in black was watching the scene below from a nearby rooftop. The shadows concealing him, disguising him further and blending him deeply into the darkness. The moon above only catching his mask briefly as he stood observing. The ghost like shape reached behind his back for his gun and crouched down to the floor setting it in place. He watched like a predator as he aimed weapon at the back of the head of the man standing at the plinth below. His partly gloved metallic hand clung onto the trigger and he slowly pulled it back, waiting and growing increasingly impatient for the signal to strike. He was ready to unleash the chaos Zola had promised on to the world...and was ready now

" steady asset...not yet" whispered a voice from his earpiece "wait for my signal"

After raising his hand and acknowledging the adoring crowd, the vice president beamed proudly still blissfully unaware at the deadly weapon that was been aimed at back.. Hoping they wasn't raising suspicions, several of the disguised waiters began looking at one another, raising their eyebrows as they handed out the food as the speech began.

" thank you. It truly is such a pleasure to be here tonight with so many of us here for the same reason... peace. Peace is not absence of conflict... it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means" There was a real sense of pride in his voice as he spoke. The delegates immediately seen hanging onto his every word at the passion he spoke" a group of people such as us...those who are all free to choose.. will always choose peace"

There was a huge round of applause from the group with several of the delegates standing to their feet to give a proud standing ovation. One of the disguise waiters soon reached underneath the trolley he was pushing for a large firearm that was concealed under a sheet. As he placed it in his hand, he nodded over at another man in tbe distance who was standing not too far from the vice Presiden at the front of the room. The man nodded in response before placing his finger to his ear and whispering in a cold voice unheard by those around him...

"Ready Asset...in 3...2...1...NOW"

The vice president leant forward on the plinth ready to continue his heartfelt passionate speech. he opened his mouth ready to continue, still blissfully unaware of what was going to happen next...

"Today...I chose peace"

Right at that exact moment there was a huge gun shot that instantly filled the air. The vice president slumped forward on the plinth, his body soon becoming limp as his lower back spread profusely with a deep crimson liquid. Screams in fear and confusion filled the garden with people racing to all the exits in a desperate bid to escape. The ghostly figure in the Shadows remained emotionless, Reloaded his weapon again and fired it once more at the wounded leader below. No remorse whatsoever in his face. Only purely focussing on creating as much chaos and destruction as his mission had stated . The vice president groaned out in agony as he was shot again and again and again. Now dead,the vice president's body rolled off to the floor in a crumpled heap...

Security rushed everywhere but within seconds the disguised waiters all reached for their concealed weaponry and began to fire at will the deadly arsenal into the crowded room. Taking out person after person in the the process. Chaos ensued as body after body dropped to the floor all thanks to the Winter Soldier and his assassination team. Those who survived the deadly Massacre scrambled for the doors only to be met with a huge bomb explosion that had been planted earlier in the day. The marble walls of the building shook furiously at the impact, killing even more in the devastating process.

From the rooftop opposite, The Winter Soldier got to his feet and continued to gaze down at the chaotic scene below him. Switching to a new weapon, he then hit with a rapid machine gun fire like pace at the people below. Fires from the bombing impact continued to burn brightly and the deathly screams continue to fill the air as the chaos and mass panic below increased. Saying nothing he merely stood there and slowly removed his mask. Revealing again that icy yet deeply hypnotic cold blank stare. There was no emotion, no regret, No remorse whatsoever at what he done. The Winter Soldier had indeed arrived officially now... _ **Mission Complete**_

 ** _James Buchanan Barnes was dead, standing here now was HYDRA'S deadliest new weapon. A weapon ready to be Unleashed and make a dangerous impact on to the world. With the Winter Soldier now here, this success now this would be the start of something even greater for Hydra. His work would be a gift to mankind creating a dangerous future for the world and a future that hydra would be in full control of..._**


	24. Part 23

_**"Most of the intelligence community don't believe he exists but the ones that do, call him the Winter Soldier. He is credited with at least two dozen assassinations over the last 50 years"**_

 _"please...Please don't make me do this Buck...please don't"_

After successfully managing to swap the data chips and triggering the helicarriers to open fire on one another, Steve could do nothing but watch as "project insight" inadvertently destroyed itself. Although he was still trapped on board with the Winter Soldier for the time being, at least he could be rest assured that he'd saved countless innocent lives and that had always been his number one priority throughout this mission.

Gunfire and mass explosions quickly filled the air, all rational thoughts vanishing completely as the helicarrier continued to shudder with the devastating attack continuing to progress around him. The varying speeds of multiple gunfire rounds ignited in a heated mass of a fiery yellow flame billowing around him and through other parts of the aircraft. Literally trapped and with no real way of escape, Steve's eyes scanned the area around him and could just make out the shadowy figure of the Winter Soldier desperately trying to get to his feet in the distance, clinging onto a large metallic frame that have come crashing down above him. The soldier wore a puzzled look of deep confusion and bewilderment as he watched the devastating chaos erupting around him. His eyes glanced at the flames close by, darting around furiously almost as if he was looking for some kind of answer from the fiery mass within. He was panicking, confused and disorientated. Steve could tell this instantly and judging by the way he opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it again within seconds later gave this away for sure. He was always been able to read Bucky like a book. Steve knew the more logical thing to do right now would be to just leap from the helicarrier and into the icy deep cold waters of the lake below. Just leaving the Winter Soldier to die in the fiery carnage of the ship but in his heart he knew that was no option... he couldn't do that to Bucky

When you have a strong bond with someone, it means that you are tightly connected with them on every wave length possible. He and Bucky had been friends since childhood, they had a long history together and there was no true body of friendship than that they shared. Sometimes in life you find that one special friend that changes your life just by being part of it and for Steve that friend was indeed Bucky Barnes. Bucky always had been there for him, especially when he was at his lowest ebb when his much treasured mother passed away. It was Bucky who lifted him up during those dark empty times and rose his spirit making him feel bright and full once again as he coped with his grief and the feeling of now being alone. Whenever Steve tried to turn away from whatever obstacles life would throw at him, Bucky would always be following close by and remain constantly at his side till the end of the line as he so often told him daily. Whenever it looked like he was losing his way, Bucky would always be there to guide him on the right path just as always and be ready to support him on the great journey of life. Steve may have had nothing much else in the world or was not really sure about life in general, but at least he had Bucky by his side. They were more than best friends, they were family...

Steve's mind soon began to replay the altercation the pair had on the bridge several days ago and recall those feelings at seeing him alive after so long. Judging by the winter soldiers reaction to his true name being called that day, Steve never truly gave up hope that aspects of his best friend personality was still there within that emotionless assassin that stood in front of him that day. In his heart he knew back then Bucky remembered him somewhat and that alone was enough for him to not give up on the one man that had been such a key part of his life for so many years...

"I know you remember me Buck..." Steve thought to himself, his eyes dropping at the anxious man in the distance "You're still in there Bucky Barnes...I know it"

He was just about to head over to Bucky, when there was a huge explosion that literally floored him backwards. Steve's head hit the metallic pathway hard winding him instantly and left him struggling for air. Rubbing the side of his head, he managed to stand and edged closer at where he had just seen Bucky only moments earlier. The metallic frame that Bucky had used to get to his feet before had now fallen on his chest pinning him down on the floor in the process and leaving him trapped solid. With his shield still attached to his front, Steve grabbed at the frame and through gritted teeth, managed to use every last ounce of energy he had in his body to lift it upwards. This gave Bucky with just enough space to crawl free. With it lifted but his arm still broken from their earlier altercation, Bucky rolled over to his stomach and began to desperately claw his way across the floor to freedom. His breathing deep and shallow as his heart pounded furiously within the cavity of his chest. Both men tried to control their breathing as they both struggled to gain any sense of what was going on around them

"You know me..." cried Steve, getting to his feet first and desperately hoping Bucky could feel any remnants of the deep connection they shared "You do...You know me..."

"NO..NO..I..DONT.." Bucky bellowed, punching Steve clean across the jaw knocking him instantly off his feet " shut up"

"Bucky... you've known me your whole life... you just got to remember" Still favouring his broken arm, Bucky began to feel even more confused than ever at Steve's heartfelt words. His head began to thump furiously and a deep pain rushed through every inch of his brain. Still confused and unsure what to believe anymore, Bucky turned to Steve desperately and pleadingly as if what for help and understanding at what was going on right now. The look on his face at this moment had a real air of childlike Innocence about it as he struggled to take in what was being said and make any sense "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes...our mothers were friends..we lived in the same apartment block...you've known me since we was kids"

The unprecedented fear mixed with deep confusion were a dangerous mix for Bucky now. It was like hundreds of explosions were going off in his mind at the same time now as he desperately fort to gain some kind of control from within. He'd been tortured and drugged so viciously into compliance for several decades now. He wasn't allowed to show any hints of any human emotions but there was something about hearing this man speak that was making him fight these feelings from within his soul that he was having right now. He tried to speak but yet again there was that deep inner rage consuming him. It was almost like there was two separate people in his head right now. These two energies battling furiously with one another as they fort to control his mind. The rage and anger swept through him furiously. It was almost like it was blocking and hiding that something that was the definite proof of the connection he felt to this man. That rage exploded once more and this time he hit Steve straight across the lower jaw. The sudden impact forced Steve to remove his mask revealing his true identity his best friend...

"I'm not going to fight you Bucky... you're my friend"

"NO..NO..YOU'RE MY MISSION" furiously, Bucky ran at him, pinned him to the floor and began to punch him in the face full on. Rage and viciousness throughout as he hit blow by blow with his clenched metallic fist. Steve's eyes swelled up instantly from the forceful hard punches and blood trickled slowly from his nose and lower lip "No..No..you're my mission..."

It was true fear that brought this rage out of Bucky right now. That hot burning anger that had been programmed within him to seek out and inflict harm to anyone he came into contact with. He was indeed frightened intensely by Steve's words and it was that primitive part that made him snap and attack him so viciously like he was doing right now. Fear of knowing that this man was right and further deep unprecedented fear that the whole winter soldier persona that had been placed on him for as long as he knew could remember, had been nothing more than a lie

 _"Then finish it...cause I'm with you to the end of the line..."_

The man he had pinned below him now was slowly starting to slip into unconsciousness. Bucky raised his fist ready for yet another devastating impact to finish him off but something inside him just stopped him dead in his tracks. His breathing again turning fast and ragged, almost like he was having an awakening from within. He began to pant furiously now, with his heart almost pounding out of his chest and his blood pumping furiously in his veins. At Steve's words something began to emerge from deep within his head. The foggy cloudy mass in his mind slowly began to fade and a distant memory from the past soon began to emerge from deep within the shadows. It was something from his past and a memory that had been buried for so long. He could see this man in his mind... This man in front of him whom he'd beaten to within an inch of his life.. he knew him...

"Steve?.." Bucky Thought silently to himself, somewhat finally reassured "its you..."


	25. Part 24

_**I'm with you till the end of the line...**_

 _ **The sun shone brilliantly and the vibrant colours of the beautiful spring day under its glare, was offensively bright and cheerful. For Steve it was if they had conspired to show him how the world would go on without her. Saying goodbye to his beloved mother was one of the hardest not to mention most emotional moments of his life. A Nurse for most of her career it came completely out of the blue when she contracted pneumonia several months previously. Sarah Rogers, fort hard with the same fierce gusto she had imprinted on her son but alas it wasn't enough for the poorly woman. An on one warm spring afternoon, she closed her eyes for the final time, took one last breath and descended up on to the steps to heaven, taking that journey into the afterlife. Breaking the heart of her child into a million shattered pieces in the process...**_

 _ **Today was the funeral and Steve picked out of beautiful grass spot just by an apple tree in a quiet part of the small church not far from the family home for her final resting place. The service itself was a beautiful yet quiet affair with only Steve and the Barnes family in attendance. As he watched the Coffin lowered into the ground, Steve struggled to hold back the true heartbreak of his grief and soon a steady array of silent tears fell onto his immobile face. He felt nothing but the numbness in his soul and the bruised feeling of hurt inside hitting him heavily in the heart. Tossing a single rose onto the mahogany coffin, he whisper a silent goodbye as his soul began to acknowledging the finality of death. He'd never look on her face again, feel her embrace and see that loving warmth in her eyes. Everything should have been as grey and foggy as his emotions right now but the birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed as he stood there reflecting on a lifetime of memories of his much treasured Mother**_

 _ **" Bucky just go talk to him.." cried Rebecca Barnes picking up her toddler son and placing him on her hip " dad offered him a lift home but he just point blankly refused. Saying he didn't need any help from anyone. I'm worried about him Buck... you know how much he loved her and how important she was in his life..."**_

 _ **" worried? what do you mean?"**_

 _ **" dad said it was like he's convinced he can get by on his own. He thinks he's on his own... he thinks he doesn't have anyone now" she let out a heart breaking sigh " I just don't know why he's thinking like that but just go to talk to him please..."**_

 _ **"But he's not alone...where the hell did this come from?" The siblings looked over at the man with the weight of the world on his shoulders standing at the graveside " he's got me...I'll never give up on him Becca... I'll never.."**_

 _ **"Then go tell him that Bucky because right now he needs you more than ever..."**_

 _ **Heeding his sister's advice, Bucky slowly edged over to his obviously still devastated friend. Steve was so deep in reflection that he failed to realise Bucky standing next to him, only purely solely focusing on the name of his beloved mother carved on the marble headstone in front of him. Still feeling a deep despair and darkness of his heartbreak, Steve somewhat felt strength and reassurance at the feeling of a sole hand on his shoulder...**_

 _ **" I can't even imagine what you're going through right now Steve. she really was so special and at least Heaven has gained another Angel now" Bucky smiled gently rubbing Steve shoulder " she's probably up there now looking down at you with pride for sure... she loved you so much never forget that.."**_

 _ **" thanks Buck... it just doesn't feel real right now"**_

 _ **"She loved you Steve. But don't forget that so many other people out there do too...including me" with his hand still on Steve shoulder, Bucky slowly led him away from the graveside. Both men gave the grave one last look before Bucky raised his hand to his father in the distance " never think you're alone Steve. you'll get through this and we'll all be with you every step of the way, I promise... we're more than friends pal, we're family..."**_

 _ **The death of a loved one is one of life's most difficult experiences a person would ever face. Isolation and feelings of being alone in the grief constantly running throughout the soul. Yet Steve knew deep down that Bucky was right. He did have a family and a true blessed best friend that would never leave his side...**_

 _ **"Oh Steven, I'm so sorry my darling boy" cried Alice Barnes. Clutching his head in her hands, she kissed both his cheeks wiping his tears with her white lacy gloved fingertips " she may be with the angels now but she'll be with you in your heart always Stephen"**_

 _ **" thank you Alice.." Steve forced out a smile and nodded at the old woman "means a lot.."**_

 _ **" Love never dies Steven..." the old woman continued as she began adjusting and straightening his collar " the ones we truly love never leave us my darling... we are all here for you as long as you need us.. anything? just tell James and we'll be here for you always"**_

 _ **"Thank you Alice.."**_

 _ **" now are you sure Henry can't give you a lift home?" ask Alice comfortingly " the thought of you heading home on your own after today worries me greatly Steven"**_

 _ **" don't worry Mom, he won't be alone. I'll walk back with him" smiled Bucky " I'll make sure he gets back safe I promise.."**_

 _ **As they said goodbye to the Barnes family, Steve and Bucky began their long walk back to the apartment block. Through the entire journey back neither said a word. Bucky didn't want to force Steve to talk. If Steve wanted to speak then he would do so in his own time. After about 20 minutes the pair soon arrived back at the apartment**_

 _ **" it really was a beautiful service Steve. She'd of truly loved it" Smiled Bucky as together they headed up the stairs " well here we are.. safe and sound at home just like I promised mom" suddenly Steve demeanour changed. He began to fumble through his pockets for his key. He suddenly became confused and disoriented. Bucky new a lot of this was due to his grief " are you sure you're going to be ok?..listen why don't you come back to the house? Mom is making one of her famous Barnes casserole dinners and you know she'll always make a space at the table for you" he laughed warmly "Why don't you just come home with me? we can put the couch cushions on the floor just like we did when we had those sleepovers when we were kids. Mom thinks the world of you Steve and would love you to just stay with us.."**_

 _ **"Thanks Buck but I think I just want to be alone" cried Steve " been a tough day. Thing is I can get by on my own.."**_

 _ **" listen to me though.." Bucky kicked over a nearby rock and crouched down to find the secret key but Steve always kept safe. He was the only one who knew about that key and would use it regularly to visit Steve's apartment " thing is so you don't have to.." gently he reached for Steve's collar, giving it a tight yet deeply heartfelt reassuring squeeze " I'm with you to the end of the line pal..."**_


	26. Part 25

_**A new path awaits...**_

With the vision still etched in his mind, Bucky began to grow even more anxious and agitated than ever. The dream was still clear as day in his head and had just freaked him out bigtime. As he looked down at the man he had pinned below, a sudden huge rush of unexpected guilt flew through him and at the terrible injuries he'd caused. Watching Steve slip slowly into unconsciousness, this guilt hit him hard and was the worse feeling in the world. The images of that dream was still hazy but with that and Steve's heartfelt words just moments earlier, he looked into his heart and could somewhat feel this deep connection they must have shared. He'd spent so many years with no close human contact, having no memories of his past but suddenly on this mission, here he was with someone looking at him like him known him for years. For the first time in decades he felt warmth, he felt emotions and that alone was making him question who he truly was now. Deep within his mind he'd been forcibly held in some controlling hypnotic state for so long but here he was believing every word that this man was saying...

 _"Steve?."_

Before he could react even further there was a huge explosion within the carrier, causing a devastating tremor that rocked the ship furiously. Bucky could do nothing but watch as Steve was hurtled backwards and began to free fall through the empty air space below. He tried to reach out for him with his metallic hand but was seconds too late. The broken and the unconscious body of Captain America began to fall downwards slowly hurtling towards the icy cold waters of the lake below. Not breaking his gaze, Bucky slowly got to his feet and watched the injured man continue to plummet to his doom..

For Steve, he let go of wishing that things could have been different between the two of them now and started to gradually come to terms with the reality of the possibilities facing him. An overwhelming possibility that this may even include his own death. He began to anticipate what the pain of the impact would be like once he hit the water. It then slowly began to dawn on him that these were most probably the exact same feelings and emotions that Bucky had gone through after that devastating fall from the train all those years ago. With his last memory turning to that his best friend, Steve hit the water hard and immediately became unconscious. His head was pounding with every cell in his body screaming out for oxygen. The feeling of him slipping away into the murky darkness of the water was almost peaceful actually. The darkness began to slowly swallow him further and he slipped even deeper into the murky cloudy mass of the water below. He wanted to be saved, he wanted to be rescued and wanted a hand to tow him back to life... little did he know he was close to getting his wish..

"what have I done?" Bucky cried, clutching at his head as he watched the man vanish from his view

Saying no more, Bucky took a huge long run up and leapt into the water below. He had to do the right thing now, something inside the cloudy foggy mass of his mind was telling him he needed to save this man. It was almost like it was an unconscious signal to get him to start to understand the severity of everything that he'd done. Once he got past that, only then would he be able to move on and start dong the right thing.

A real sense of anguish that was even more greater than pain began to rule over Bucky's heart now. He was growing extremely more light-headed as he swam through the murky waters of the river desperately searching for Steve. He slowly made his way through a bed of long grassy thin reeds and a cluster of damp moss before finally catching sight of that all too familiar silver star that was on the front of Steve's Captain America uniform. Even seeing the uniform once again began to trigger more memories for Bucky. It was the exact same one Steve had worn during that life altering final mission all those years ago. Relieved that he had finally found him, Bucky grabbed his shoulder and while still favouring his broken arm, he began to slowly make his way to the surface. Relief filled his head now that he's found him and fingers crossed had saved his life in the process. Hopefully this would start be the start his path to redemption at long last..

Emerging from the river, Bucky continue to grip onto Steve shoulder and soon dragged him over to the safety of the riverbank close by. Slowly he let go and crouched down to check his breathing and for his vital life signs. He reached for his neck searching and desperately hoping to feel a pulse. Thankfully, he felt a very slight and faint one. At least he was still alive. Getting to his feet, Bucky stared down at the man who was slowly now beginning to breathe on his own. His eyes were still closed shut and Bucky didn't know if he could hear him but at least he was alive...alive for now

"Goodbye..." whispered Bucky softly, taking one last look at the broken body of his best friend. Still favouring his injured arm, he turned and began to walk away "Steve..."

Walking away he took one last deep intake of breath as once again that deep guilt began to haunt him hard. With every kill mission still permanently programmed into his mind thanks to Hydra, it began to cut him even deeper now at what he'd done. Looking into his heart for the first time in what felt like decades. He made a vow that although he couldn't undo his past misdeeds, he would dedicate the rest of his life to following the right path and leaving his Winter Soldier days firmly behind him. Although he knew he could never forgive himself for these crimes this would hopefully be the first step on a new journey for him.

Taking one last look over at the man on the riverbank, Bucky wanted answers now about his true memories and his past. He wanted explanations for his dream. Steve had unlocked some of it and he was eternally grateful but he knew deep down he wanted to know more. At least he knew that he had a name now and that was a start, a beginning. It was almost as if there was an awakening in his heart now, his true self finally emerging with the power to be the true person he was meant to be... _**James Buchanan Barnes**_

He and Steve were on two very different paths at this moment now. Yes they'd been together for most of their life and shared so much but alas sadly they had now found themselves at that fork in the road on their great journey of life. Choices cannot be undone. Once chosen they can never be the same again. Once that new path has been walked on there truly is no going back. As Bucky began to take to this new path, he was determined to find out as much about his past as possible even if it meant and lifetime on the run

He indeed wasn't the Winter Soldier now but thanks to Dr Zola and HYDRA he truly wasn't James Buchanan Barnes either. Deep down in reality he didn't know who he was any more. Maybe he was a combination of both? Or just one of these personalities? Who knew but right now his life was just a highway and his soul was just a car. This car symbolising this bright new path and journey into the beyond. Who knew what the future may hold for him but has he took that new leap into his life there truly was no other way to find out..

He may have promised to be with Steve to the end of the line but for him he would reach there on his terms and on his terms alone...

 _ **This new journey on his path to true redemption was only beginning...**_


	27. Epilogue

_**Several years later..**_

2 long painful years soon passed by and for the now former Winter Soldier, he was gradually growing even more accustomed by the day to this new life on the run. Those hidden memories of his past were slowly continuing to emerge from the cloudy mass of his mind on a daily basis now, with Bucky embracing each and every moment to the very depths of his soul. It was the memories of his former family life that were the ones that seem to be the most frequent emerging over the last several months. Names of the family members were still hazy at times and there were many heart breaking moments when he would grow increasingly more frustrated at himself for not remembering more about them. He may not have recognised names yet but over the last few months it was the clear images of a warm loving family environment that filled his heart daily. Bucky could constantly see a kind older lady holding him close in a reassuring warm embrace and that of an old man tenderly placing a protective hand on his shoulder. Overwhelmed, he grabbed on to a nearby wall for support as his whole body shook furiously. A real sense of rawness to his tears. The sobs was stifled at first but as he tried to block out the guilt for everything that he'd done, all those defences washed away with salty tears at the very thought that he...the Winter Soldier had a family... a warm loving caring family...

Bucky still had no idea why the memories of the past were slowly being triggered like they had been. At first he was scared, terrified at the thought he was going crazy as confusion mixed with deep fear overwhelmed him daily. It was like they were mini movies being played out in his head but he's just didn't know what was going on and struggled to find the link and connection with every image emerging. It was at that moment Bucky decided to record as many of these visions as possible down in notepad form. He desperately hoped that with it on paper like this, it would be the only way of him piercing together remnants of his scattered life. The notebooks were soon becoming his only source of comfort as there was still that deep unprecedented fear that he'd lose his memory again and become the brainwashed winter soldier once more. At least if that did happen he'd have the books to look back on and hopefully remember some remnants of his past. At present, Bucky had about a dozen books filled already. Recording everything ranging from the nightmares of HYDRA'S tortures that plagued him when he slept, to things that he was unsure about that suddenly came to him randomly daily. Every last vision, dream and image scrawled down furiously by his trembling hand...

This life of being on the run and blending into the shadows unnoticed was quickly becoming second nature for Bucky now. He would normally stay in one place for a week or so before moving on to somewhere new before suspicions would arise. This was mainly due to the fact he was still on many government watch lists for his past crimes as the Winter soldier. Yes he was a victim of HYDRA's games and had no control over what they've made in do but in Bucky's mind he still did it for them. He'd killed so many people on HYDRA's bidding over the past 50 years and it was this alone that all the government cared about. In their eyes, he was an extremely dangerous vicious unstable man who needed to be brought to Justice for the crimes that he had done on the world.

With the sun slowly now beginning to set, signally the end of another day, Bucky knew that he would have to find a place to stay for the night. Over the past several months he'd slept in shop doorways, crashed on park benches and even broke into a local train station when it closed for the evening. Clipping his backpack tightly in place across his chest, Bucky pulled his cap down and began to walk through what looked like to be the roughest part of town. He slowly made his way past a noisy crowded bar and began to panic immediately as a messy brawl suddenly spilled out onto the sidewalk directly in front of him. With his hands gripped tight desperately onto the straps on his back pack and his heart pounding, Bucky quickly chose to run as fast as he could and soon found brief sanctuary within a dark alleyway close by. Pressing his back against the wall he continued to pant hard at the impending arrival of the several police cars hurtling past that he could now hear nosily in the distance. Trying to catch his breath, he began to pray desperately that nobody had recognised him from the bar brawl. He'd worked so hard to stay hidden these past two years and didn't want it to end now. Slowly Bucky peered around the corner from the alley way and was relieved to see that the drunken brawl was quickly brought under control with everyone rushed away into police cars leaving the area around him an eerie silent once more. Dusting himself off, he emerged from his hiding place and could see that he standing by an old disused apartment block that was being prepared for demolition. A metallic fence around the block was covered with various warning signs for people to stay away and keep out. Close by were several groups of homeless people desperately trying to keep warm around a burning barrel and an old woman pushing a shopping trolley of empty beer cans was seen shuffling along in the distance.

None of this seemed too out of the ordinary but there was one house just off the apartment block in particular that Bucky seem to feel himself strangely drawn to. He stared at the dimly lit partly crumbling home in front of him and he just couldn't escape the feeling that it been here before. Slightly confused by this gut feeling inside, he edged closer with his deep curiosity instantly getting the better of him about what was so special about this one house. Checking the coast was clear, he scrambled up the metallic fence surrounding the home with ease and quickly jumped to the floor on the other side, hurling his rucksack on his back.

Indeed this house was very dilapidated and it was obvious it been many years since it been inhabited. It was a former shell of a obviously once happy home now. The strong roof had been neglected for decades past its intended lifespan now and you could see several large holes gaping above. Flocks of birds sat peacefully and every now and again would swoop inside the holes of the roof. The house indeed was now fully supporting the notion of being "old" and was now completely derelict. Ivy grew unchecked over the crumbling brick facade with its growing stems almost thick as a young tree. Every window on both floors were smashed altogether or gone completely. The huge oak front door was literally hanging off its hinges, with a " _welcome to our happy home"_ sign hanging by a thread on the front porch. The dirty white picket fence surrounding the home was partially broken too and the cobbles of the pavement leading up to the main part of the house had been either pulled up or smashed completely by some unknown force. The front garden and surrounding areas were just as unkempt as the main part of the house. The garden had now been reduced to nothing more than a full on mass of overgrown weeds and unkempt grass. Yes indeed it had been a very long time since anyone set foot through these walls...

Placing his hand cautiously on the fence, a dramatic yet authentic vision triggered suddenly deep within the anxious mans mind. Bucky clutched at his head, his chin pressing deeply against his chest as he shook his head furiously. Cloudy images within his mind slowly began to emerge from the darkness. As he struggled to control his laboured breathing, intense feelings overwhelmed him deeply to the very depths of his soul and it was all thanks to the images gradually emerging in his head. Slowly the world around him was now a quiver as each image grew clearer. Bucky looked down at his feet and could now see that for some reason he wasn't wearing the black leather jacket and dark hoodie combo that he had worn daily since going on the run. He was wearing full US army military attire. Bucky gasped in deep shock, running his hands furiously over the front of his chest, patting it down and taking in every detail in front of him. He could see the two breast pockets at the front of the coat, he could clearly see the shiny brass buttons on the front of his jacket and the tie that was tightly wrapped with precise around his neck. Slowly, still unsure if he was dreaming or if this was reality he raised his arm and was taken aback that not only was his hand not metal anymore but clutched within was a matching hat.

Slowly panicking and even more confused at what was going on, Bucky looked up at the house and gasped. It had now mysteriously returned to the past splendour at what it once was all those years ago. Beautiful flowers filled the grassy front lawn and pink blossom covered the many trees that surrounded the front of house. Everything just looked so fresh, new and perfect. Placing the hat on his head he ambled along the pathway and caught sight of two shadowy figures standing at the top steps on the front porch. Bucky walked over and was soon greeted by the loving smile of an old woman and man. The woman was resting her head on the man's shoulder and the pair were locked in a loving reassuring embrace. Both smiled warmly at Bucky as he edged closer to them on the front steps. It was the old woman's eyes that gave him his biggest clue at who she was and why he had felt so drawn to this particular house. Her eyes were identical to his own. Like his, her eyes were an entrancingly shade of blue so light that they were near transparent. He knew them and knew them both...

 ** _"mom?...Dad?"_** his voice choked full of emotion _ **"I remember... I remember you.."**_

 _ **"Welcome home Son..."**_ Pushing up his glasses, the old man reached forward and cupped at Bucky's face _**"we've missed you Bucky..."**_

 _ **"I've missed you too..."**_

Joy and for the first time in decades happiness filled Bucky's heart at the kindness and love of their words. Happiness like no other and somewhat like an intense beam of light deep present within his soul. Happiness was about enjoying the moment, being present for the gift that is living and allowing it to become that intense. Just seeing their faces again, the relief at knowing who they truly were now and having them refer to him as "Son" truly meant the world to him. Making him feel at long last human again and not like the weapon that he'd been brainwashed to believe he was for so long now. Bucky desperately wanted to hold them in his arms, have them reassure him everything would be fine and also forgive him for all his past endeavours. Slowly, he edged closer with his arms raised to embrace them but when he did so the images of Henry and Alice Barnes vanished back into the fog and left him alone... alone once more on the broken steps of what he now concluded was his former childhood home.

Feeling his heart shatter, he dropped to his knees on the front porch in a mountain of painful sobs. Frustrated at how his mind had teased him with the happy images, he punched out at the floorboards at where the couple had just been standing. It felt so real seeing them again. It felt like a moment more real than the blood flowing through his veins as his tears continued. It was more than crying it was a kind of desolate sobbing that came from a person now drained of all hope. His breathing was ragged, gasping as his strength left his legs and left him curling up in a foetal position on the floor. In his mind there was no hope for him now but only that of a further life on the run...

Finally getting himself together he's soon sat up immediately and reached for his backpack. He searched somewhat furiously inside for one of his many notebooks and quickly grabbed a pen. As fast as he could, he scrawled down a rough outline of the house complete with the layout of the garden and even adding the picket fence at the front. Next to the sketch were the words _ **"Home.. my home"**_ along with the name _ **"Henry" "Alice"**_ and underlined several times in large capital letters was the word _ **"FAMILY"**_

Entering the house his footsteps echoed on the wooden floor boards that were now aesthetically pleasing. The stillness inside sent shivers down his spine. As he stood in the hallway there was water dripping from the roof, rhythmically generating and melancholic melody above his head. The door handles leading to the lounge and kitchen were all rusted over. Each of the windows shattered beyond repair, shattered like dreams of the last several decades he'd experienced from his winter soldier days. That undefinable source of darkness draped over the walls like a tapestry as he took a weary step over the rotten oak floors and over to an old dresser that was pressed up against the wall.

Again just like the feeling he had a been drawn to this house something was pulling him towards this dresser. Something Inside was telling him to look inside one of the drawers within. With his hand trembling furiously he pulled open the middle drawer to see what was inside. It was pretty much empty but just at the back was a small oblong photograph lying face down. He reached in with his metallic hand and slowly turned over the image in front of him. Instantly his eyes widened as there looking up at him was his own face and that of several of his own family members. The photo was partly faded but it looks like some kind of family dinner. Studying the photograph further, he could see the two people who he now believed were in fact his parents and sitting close by them was a younger woman with a small child lovingly sitting on her lap. Each person was beaming at the camera as a huge buffet spread of succulent food lay out in front of them. A warm smile filled his face now that the happy scene playing out in front of him. Not lifting his gaze from the photo, he headed back to the front door and sat on the steps of the porch outside.

Sitting there reflecting, Bucky ran his finger over each happy image of the joyful family scene. Struggling to hold back the tears once more he reached back in his backpack and for one of the many fake passports that he had in his possession. Bucky opened it up and placed the photo gently inside. He still needed to get away as he was still a wanted man. Bucky fumbled continuously through his back again when suddenly two airline tickets dropped to the floor and at his feet. Panicking he quickly reached for them and gazed down at the destination of what he hoped would be his new home... _**Bucharest, Romania.**_ Going abroad seemed is only logical option now and hopefully the start of a new life. Placing everything safely back in his backpack he got to his feet and clipped the straps tightly across his chest for the final time..

Heading back outside the gate he took one last look at the dilapidated building that had once been his former childhood home...

 _"Goodbye Mum...goodbye Dad.."_ he forced out a smile _"it may have took some time but I came home in the end...we've hit the end of the line now..."_

 _ **The end**_


End file.
